the demon of suicide

I was visited by Suicide.
As Suicide,I saw through its eyes...
My entire being was filled with deep and absolute loneliness.
I was like a sad orphaned child who approached anyone that even barely
looked in my direction.
I needed to feel their warmth.
To me, they were home.
Most people did not notice me.
Some looked at me with worry,
others were puzzled,
a few prayed to themselves.
A handful or so, thoughtfully and lovingly approached me.
I was so glad when they did.

Then, as myself, I saw my mother.
I saw her as she was during that period of time
when she tried to die.
I saw her kneeling in front of my brother
who was as when he was a child,
with his curly hair and sweet face...
My mother looked sad and full of love
as she held his hand.
I came close to them and said,"Mom?"
She then sharply turned her face to me and her expression changed,
her face and eyes were wild and grinning.
She was now an ill- fitting costume to whatever else was there.
In an instant, she leaped up, grabbed my brother in her arms,
ran so forcefully that i heard every step of her delicate feet
resonate as they pounded on the floor.
Then she threw herself out of the window!
I screamed within my own mind.
That familiar shock turned my blood ice cold.
I went to the window, saw her get up and run again.
As if she had gone completely mad.

My brother, my little brother was still there...
Looking off in the distance of his own dreams,
Sucking his thumb as he did as a baby.
Maybe, also,in a sense, as other times...
alone and lost.

Reviews

[Fourchance]

Very, Very powerful poem Cary--it carries so much deep emotions. I am always surprised and pleased as I read your poetry.

I think you have that ability to move a person from ambivalence to one with open raw feelings while they step into you poem.
Good work--Frank

[mysticgmekeepr]

I am a mediocre misanthropic malcontent.

Nice alliteration by the way:-)

[mysticgmekeepr]

very well written piece of confessional poetry. I personally liked it very much, and could identify as I had a similar mother. Welcome to writerscafe.