The Trouble with Passion

Bit of fun, wrote for a contest.

“What you need my boy, is passion in your heart.

With passion comes a wife and a family you'll start”.

So I lived life with passion and a wife did appear,

a wonderful lover who I could call my own dear.

But as the years went by it all became a chore,

she wouldn't take the hint as I showed her the door.

I ended conversations with a yell and a shout,

“Don't let the bloody door hit you on the way out”.

She became a right harpy, a bunny boiler you hear.

Objected to my gambling, my cider and my beer.

She laid down the law and a curfew on me,

hid my bottle and my cards she was evil you see.

So I hatched a wicked plan to get rid of the trout.

There was literally no alternative of that I've no doubt.

I planned it real carefully left no stone unturned,

thought myself a smart bugger never thought I’d get burned.

On the night of the deed she had gone off to bed,

I smiled to myself she was soon to be dead.

I opened the gas taps on the cooker with glee,

not long now and I would finally be free.

Feeling so pleased with my fantastic plan,

I took out a cigar that I had stored in a can.

Well I lit that cigar with a flash and a bang,

I was launched towards the heavens and landed in Siam.

Well I am finally rid of my troublesome Wife,

but my landing destination was not without strife.

They have me held hostage in a freak circus show,

a man with hair on his head but absolutely nothing below!

Reviews

[Jack V.]

Ahh, funny. Foolish 24 character limit.