Ghazal: Clouds

I wrote this as an exercise in class, and I hope that you like it.

Jove's javelinas jump from the clouds.

Thunder thrums through those clouds.

He has not yet sent the icy drops

cascading from those sublime clouds.

He has not sent the storm here yet,

so for now you can just watch those clouds.

One moment it is dark like starless nights,

another, flashing bright as if angels hide in those clouds.

And you, young Carl, will not run, hide, nor sleep

because your will bow in awe to his clouds.

Reviews

[YoshiPiccollo]

The concept of this poem is a good one, I just feel like it needs a little more work and TLC. Maybe if you add a little more imagery between each "cloud".