See You Soong

Konrad Soong's life falls apart when his girlfriend dumps him and he looses his job, but he may have found a way out of Denver when he wins big at a poker game in Central City.

See You Soong

 

      Konrad Soong had a microwave burrito addiction.  It was so intense that he installed not one, but four separate microwaves in his tiny two bedroom apartment.  There was a microwave in the living room, kitchen and both bedrooms just in case he felt the need to warm one up.  Konrad practically lived on frozen burritos from the supermarket.  Not even Taco Bell could compete with his favorite frozen brand�"Amy’s. While most bachelors boasted about how many beer cans and pizza boxes littered their floor, Konrad bragged about how many burrito wrappers there were crumpled up in every nook and cranny of his cheap downtown apartment.

       Now most people would not peg this middle-age man of half-Asian descent to be a dog lover, but he was.  True, the two Pomeranians had been his ex-girlfriend’s dogs originally, but after their sudden break-up, the dogs had somehow become his.  Kiwi and Mango were nearly as fond of burritos as their owner, which was handy when he dropped bits and pieces of his dinner on the floor and they immediately cleaned it up for him.

       Konrad’s last girlfriend, Esperanza Dunn, had worked in a Latina beauty parlor.  They’d met one day in frozen food section of the local Carnicería and found they also shared a love of Tito Puente’s song "Hong Kong Mambo.”  The shy graduate student and high school drop out quickly moved in together and where passionately in love for all of three wonderful months.  As it turns out though, Konrad had more in love that Esperanza, who soon began having an affair with the handy man Martinez. 

        Konrad came home early from work one day to find Mr. Martinez in bed with his girlfriend.  Esperanza begged and pleaded, but in the end Konrad kicked her out.  She packed what she could and moved into even smaller efficiency apartment that Mr. Martinez lived in.  There were no room for her two beloved dogs and so they stayed with Konrad.

        This break-up eventually led to Konrad’s already low grade depression deepening considerably.  Despite an MBA from a good college, he still only worked for an electronics store, but even that became too much for him.  He stopped showing up for work and his employment was eventually terminated.  After his last check, Konrad collected some unemployment and quickly became a hoarder.  Fearful of not ever being able to buy anything new, he started collecting everything from newspapers to furniture thrown in the dumpsters outside his apartment. 

        One day, he realized that his unemployment would be running out soon and he didn’t know what to do.  He didn’t want to get a job, so he decided to try his luck at a casino in Central City.  He drove the short distance from his apartment in Montebello to I-70 West and followed that all the way through downtown Denver and into the mountains.  It was a beautiful fall day when he entered the old mining town that had been transformed into a gambling getaway.  Konrad parked in the Fortune Valley Hotel Parking lot, but soon realized that he didn’t even have enough money for one night in the hotel�"not unless he won at the casinos first.  Konrad wandered into Fortune Valley Casino and looked around.  He placed some quarters into some slot machines, but won nothing.  He passed a roulette table and continued onto the Black Jack table. 

        He sat down and placed a bet.  The dealer gave him a three of diamonds.  “Hit me,” he said.  Next he got the three of hearts.  Frustrated, Konrad said, “Hit me.”  The dealer laid a ten of spades down.  Konrad knew that he could go over at any moment, but he still said once again, “Hit me.”  Finally, the dealer threw a five of clubs down on the pile.  Konrad counted in his head a second time to be sure before he yelled, “Black jack!”

      “Congratulations,” the dealer said pushing all the chips his way.  He’d bet just twenty dollars and how he forty. 

       Konrad bet twenty again.  This time he lost.  With a sigh he bet his last twenty dollars and won again.  He wasn’t making money fast enough, so he moved over to the poker table, where he played several rounds of high stakes poker with strangers.  He managed to win a hundred dollars in the first round and continue on until the hundred turned into a thousand.  He played all night until he could barely keep his eyes open.  His obsessive compulsive mind raced as he thought harder than he had in years.  He was brilliant at bluffing when he needed to and was a wiz at counting cards. 

       When he went to get a room at the hotel it was midnight and he’d made nearly five thousand dollars.  He couldn’t believe that he’d spent all that time holed up in his apartment like a hermit in a cave when he could have been making millions.  Of course, he always believed that he had horrible luck and that he’d most likely lose if he’d ever gambled.  But he guessed that desperate times had called for desperate measures. 

       The next day he was tempted to return to the tables, but something told him to take some time off and come up with some sort of plan.  So, Konrad hopped in his Ford and took off along the winding roads out of Central City.  It wasn’t long before he’d left the turn of the century brick buildings behind for the cream colored countryside of the Rocky Mountains.  Somehow he ended up in a ghost town of a place called Nevadaville.  A painted rock was the only marker of the mining town. 

       Konrad parked just off the edge of the road and got out to look around.  He could see the old mine shaft not too far in the distance to his left.  To his right was the only store still open.  He walked up the open door and peered into what looked like a sort gift shop.  An old woman came out of the back to greet him.  She showed him maps and books about the history of the town.  Currently the population totaled three, including the old woman whose name Ida, her husband and single granddaughter. 

       Ida took the time to explain the history of the town to curious wandered Konrad.  “Nevada-ville started in 1859, soon after John H. Gregory found the first lode gold in what is now Colorado. At the time, the townsite was in western Kansas Territory. The town grew to house the miners working the Burroughs lode and the Kansas lode. The population was predominantly Irish.”

       “The town was one of the most important mining settlements in the area. A Masonic lodge was organized in 1859 from the Kansas Grand Lodge, becoming Nevadaville Number 36. After only one regular meeting, the lodge relinquished their charter and came under the jurisdiction of the new Grand Lodge of Colorado who had taken over the territory. The new charter was granted and the lodge became Nevadaville Number 4. The lodge still holds meetings as the only Ghost town lodge in Colorado.”

        “In 1861 a large fire destroyed 50+ buildings, and residents made effective use of TNT to save the remaining parts of the city from the fire. Nevadaville rebuilt after fire destroyed a large piece of the town. A more serious threat to the town was the fact that the near-surface oxidized portions of the veins were worked out in the early 1860s. The rudimentary ore mills had trouble recovering gold from the deeper sulfide ores. The continued prosperity of Nevadaville was assured by the construction of successful ore smelters in nearby Black Hawk. Nevadaville prospered until about 1900, after which the population declined sharply.”

       “Wow that is some history.  It is too bad that Nevadaville hasn’t been revamped into a gambling town like Central City,” Konrad commented.

       “I rather like it as a Ghost Town, but there are lots for sale all around if someone should decide they would like to build here.”

       Suddenly an idea dinged in Konrad’s head like a microwave timer.  “Maybe I could buy a piece of land out here and we could be neighbors.  Any idea what a lot costs out here?”

      “Pretty cheap I’d imagine.  Maybe a few thousand dollars,” Ida replied.  She pulled out a survey map and showed him the lots that had been put up for sale and what was still owned by the State of Colorado. 

       Konrad took down a bunch of phone numbers and purchased a book about Nevadaville before leaving to go back to his hotel room.  It was from his room that he called Remax and spoke to one of their Mountain Real-Estate Agents.  They quickly set up an appointment with him at their closest office location in Idaho Springs.  Before Konrad could fathom it, he became the proud owner of a fallen down building behind the only open store in Nevadaville.  It cost him just $3,000 and he had no idea what he was going to do with it whatsoever. 

 

 

 

   

 

 

Author's Note

No idea where I am going with this story. I would be happy to take suggestions on where you think it should go....

Reviews

[Edmund Jonah]

Hi Cari Lynn,
1. If you are serious about becoming a writer, with respect you should make sure not to leave careless mistakes in your manuscript.
2. No one can tell you where your story is going except yourself. You have to depend on your own imagination, not on those of others.
3. You start your story with your 'hero' having a microwave 'oven' (microwave is an adjective here) fixation and a penchant for frozen burritos, both of which eventually lead nowhere. What has this to do with your story?
4. Your English can be good and then you lose it every so often. Examples:
(a) Now most people would not peg this middle-age(d) man...
(b) As it turn(ed) out though, Konrad had ('was' instead of 'had') more in love that Esperanza (with Esperanza than she was with him), who.. Cut out the who and begin with 'She was soon sleeping etc.'
5. We don't need all the details of how he won the money. He wins 5000 dollars and then goes off to the ghost town. That's all we need to know.
6. That whole bit about the history of the ghost town does not sound like Ida talking at all; more like advertising in a flyer telling tourists about it.. It is not in keeping with the rest of the writing so it feels like it was copied.
7. Your main character is not one who captures the interest of your reader. You tell us too much about him and yet give him no real personality. You have to read more books and when you come to one you really like, pull it apart. Ask yourself why the writer caught you and how he developed his characters so that the book held your interest.
8. There is no excuse for the carelessness of dropping the 'was' from the sentence below. There are several other such lapses in your writing.
Currently the population totaled three, including the old woman whose name (was) Ida, her husband and single granddaughter.
However, I get the impression that you can be good if you put your mind to the business of writing. You have a lot to learn but it will be worth it as you can write well when you concentrate.