Very nice word choice. Perhaps try to vary the metaphors since your point about your heart being of ice is repeated heavily with the word, "freeze", which makes it sound monotonous. Try juxtaposing it with its opposite, namely expand on "burns with intensity": venture into using more intense colours to shock the reader. However, I love the minimalist aesthetic in the structure and the white space between the stanzas add to the lonely, isolated and empty feeling of the narrator.
I love this piece you show some great skill here 'burns with the intensity of the arctic night' is an amazing idea and image. What you capture so perfectly is the strength and weakness of the ice which in turn is the strength and weakness of the person, so true because there are always good and bad days. A really fantastic poem!
I like your analogies - "emotion of a lifeless stone, intensity of an Arctic night, empathy of a breathless statue, passion of a motionless corpse"....this is brilliant work!!
Hey, I'm Erin, if you didn't notice. ^.^ Thank you for looking at my page and more importantly, my writing. I have always loved to write, mainly stories, but I think poetry is alright too. =]] I haven.. more..