Boy Unknown

his flaws make him perfect

The flaws hide a pure heart

Untouched by the wrongs of your past

Your eyes dance with a child like mischief

Of the boy you once were

The smile hides a pain

That even you can't run from

Boy unknown

Please let me know you

Author's Note

i was originally going to make this longer. how does this length sound?

Reviews

[Mo'Kha]

I thinks its simplicity contributes to the eloquence of the piece.
~M

[Bee]

I think the length was perfect. It adds more mystery to the 'boy unknown'. The message was conveyed clearly, and I believe that once you've said what you wanted to say, you should stop. 0.o unless there's something else you want say that would make this poem more wonderful than it already is? :)

[THOUSAND SUNS]

Nah its pretty cool. i dont rate anyones writing because i dont think i am capable to do so. I can say infact that i like the depth it creates.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

This is a very nice, very heartfelt poem. I would warn however to heed the words of Maya Angelou ...

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

[A.Lee]

I think the length is fine. The message is very clear and the feeling comes across very well in the amount of words that you used. Nice work.

[The Analog Kid]

Length is ok. Nice message.

[Coyote Poetry]

Many people hide behind mistakes or fear of disappointment. Very difficult to revive a beaten soul. I like the movement and story you create with your words. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Mauricio Montoya]

nice work, I would add more. Great job, keep on writing.

[Miss Coral]

I think that this could be lengthened.. I was actually going to recommend adding more even before I saw your Author's Note.
Overall, I think that this was good, but could be made longer, with more description and character building. c:
Good job.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I favor the lenght~ the brevity empowers the poetic with the genuine intent to know another~ well done~