leave, leave, leave

They are belittling you

That's all they know how to do

Leave, leave, leave

For God's sake

What more do they have to say?

On one half you have this rageful, critical monster

And everything he said you couldn't do.

On the other side you have a woman who isn't a person.

She owns nothing of her own, gets no respect out of it,

does not leave when she should, does not go anywhere independently.

I say that out of love for both of them

It's all pain.

How am I nothing of my own

And so full of rage and neurosis

Anxiety and obsession

And nothing at all

No words, no thoughts,

Just ways of getting out.

Is it worth living to be a problem solver and nothing else

Is it worth living to be a problem finder and nothing else

It's kept me alive, and I mean literally

But was it even worth it.

I love meditation because all it does is make you

Forget who you are

But you retain the subconscious

The vital medicine

You need to take at your bedside table every morning

The medicinal purple tincture in the dark glass bottle

It sits in the back of your brain, waiting to be used, until it's so full your brain explodes and all that's left is a body.