Crazy stare

A Poem by captain

Sigh...

Familiar me walks around with Crazy stare.

Feeling numb, avoiding the feelings of my own lair.

I burned my own chair, perhaps life is never fair.

In the river of eyes, I am nothing but a prince of fools

Passing by as if I look cool.

But that's okay, I don't mind,

as long as I am true to my own kind.

Sigh!

© 2013 captain

Author's Note

I always thought that I am ugly, but I really wonder why people do stare or I always felt their stares at me. As If I am weird in their eyes, as if there is something wrong with me. I can't shove out the feeling of negativity in their eyes. sigh...

thank you for reading my piece, a special thanks to Pax for helping me on Rhyming.

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Featured Review

Linda Marie Van Tassell

Oh, Lord! You really take me back. When I was in middle school, I had a crush on this boy named Chris. For the life of me now, I can't imagine why; but back then, he was everything.

I'll never forget ... one day in the cafeteria, my friend and I had gotten our lunch, and were at the table about to sit down. Angie set her tray down first, pulled out her chair, and then, sat down. I had pulled out my chair, had tray in hand, and was in the process of sitting down. Unbeknownst to me, she was joking around and had pulled the chair out from underneath me.

As you can imagine, I went down, a*s-first, to the floor; and my tray clattered like church bells on a Sunday morning, resounding loudly throughout the whole cafeteria. The next thing I heard was the loud cacophany of laughter, as every other kid in that cafeteria busted out laughing. I was never more embarassed in all of my life.

As I looked up, in that whole sea of faces, I only saw one - laughing and pointing and joking with the rest of them - CHRIS! I could have died on that spot at that very moment. OMG! How I wanted to die!

This affected me for years. I remember times when I'd, say, be walking through the mall; and I would hear a group of girls laughing; and it would automatically send me spinning back in time to that cafeteria. I just knew they were laughing at me.

When I turned to look, however, they didn't even know I existed. It was all in my head, a reflection of my own lack of self-confidence, the fear of ridicule that had been soaked into my skin in a second.

I can feel the contradiction within yourself, and I think what you're seeing in the eyes of others is really but a reflection of what you are feeling. Our lack of self-confidence wills negativity onto others, but it's not necessarily true. For the most part, I think that people are too busy, wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, to ever take notice of anyone else; and in those rare moments when they do, the thoughts are so shallow that you couldn't even dip your baby toe into them.

The trick is to be confident in yourself and to worry about what you think about yourself. If there's something you're unhappy with, do everyhing within your power to change it. No one has more power than you to make you happy.

Posted 10 Years Ago

Oh, Lord!  You really take me back.  When I was in middle school, I had a crush on this boy named Chris.  For the life of me now, I can't imagine why; but back then, he was everything.

I'll never forget ... one day in the cafeteria, my friend and I had gotten our lunch, and were at the table about to sit down.  Angie set her tray down first, pulled out her chair, and then, sat down.  I had pulled out my chair, had tray in hand, and was in the process of sitting down.  Unbeknownst to me, she was joking around and had pulled the chair out from underneath me.

As you can imagine, I went down, ass-first, to the floor; and my tray clattered like church bells on a Sunday morning, resounding loudly throughout the whole cafeteria.  The next thing I heard was the loud cacophany of laughter, as every other kid in that cafeteria busted out laughing.  I was never more embarassed in all of my life.

As I looked up, in that whole sea of faces, I only saw one - laughing and pointing and joking with the rest of them - CHRIS!  I could have died on that spot at that very moment.  OMG!  How I wanted to die!

This affected me for years.  I remember times when I'd, say, be walking through the mall; and I would hear a group of girls laughing; and it would automatically send me spinning back in time to that cafeteria.  I just knew they were laughing at me.

When I turned to look, however, they didn't even know I existed.  It was all in my head, a reflection of my own lack of self-confidence, the fear of ridicule that had been soaked into my skin in a second.

I can feel the contradiction within yourself, and I think what you're seeing in the eyes of others is really but a reflection of what you are feeling.  Our lack of self-confidence wills negativity onto others, but it's not necessarily true.  For the most part, I think that people are too busy, wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, to ever take notice of anyone else; and in those rare moments when they do, the thoughts are so shallow that you couldn't even dip your baby toe into them.

The trick is to be confident in yourself and to worry about what you think about yourself.  If there's something you're unhappy with, do everyhing within your power to change it.  No one has more power than you to make you happy.

3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

10 Years Ago

Your words makes me glad and encourage me more to win the battle within. Your shared experienced is .. read more

Reviews

Corset

you'd be surprised to find out just how many people feel this way too, I can name on one hand the people I know who actually like their own face or body, you have described this feeling so well, but just so you know in human nature people don't usually stare at people they dont find interesting, if the way you look makes them feel uncomfortable usually they don't stare, they will look away or try not to make eye contact, if they stare they like what they see or your toupee is on fire! lol :) your name reminds me of a cool song i'm posting.