the house that isn't there

i don’t have my own roof to sleep under

i don’t have a key to my own guarding walls.

my story is currently moving me,

in the direction of everyone else’s calls.

 

is this my fate to be?

rolling with the currents of unknown reality?

lacking absolute control over

the actuality of my fabricated comfort cover?

 

i sleep because i dream

i dream because i’m lonely

i’m lonely because i’m not home

i'm not home in my own body

i realize that life is a lesson

and i'm home schooled for the most part

but how can this teacher be in session

when all i do is come apart?

martyr, became I for believing

that this is the "service" for the people i'm giving

expressing hurt with words searched and found

just to tell you, all is posed as safe and sound.

this shouldn't be my burden to carry

for it was only because my mother was scary

the home that was taken from me in the first place

i have much to blame it on everyone else's case

reign down the spirit of forgiveness upon me

for i cannot find any other form of remedy

it's no one else's fault that I am this way

I just have to keep stepping forward the "my" way

what right is wrong

what wrong is expected

how can i or we grow

when we are all neglected?

i am honored to be here for you

let me serve you as my spirit wills

because I know I can never leave you

no matter how constant this karmic debt kills

exhausting, this subpoena drains

showing up for Justice with my thoughtless remains

legal court say i don't belong

but i know they're only afraid of their own wrong

how my body will represent me from now

will be determined by who advocates it

if i stand and start before you with "love"

will you continue with me along with it?

Author's Note

(to be continued...)