not my fault

shifting cause and effect

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

 

 

in short, mother,

your second born

came into this lifetime

carrying the burden of envy

 

the reason why i went silent as soon as i saw her

is because her child-like radiance needed to be stamped

and marked on her own ‘innocent’ time slot

before she began ‘adulting’ and ‘comparing’

 

a memory of herself

which she can affirm on her own

self proof of her own purity

without any external influence

 

 

 

the predicament that i am in now:

i have always known that i can conjure up my own light

regardless of how long i held it behind my shadow

you may already have seen it seeping through

despite the prevailing sorrow

 

but a choice had been clearly presented to me as of yester-

and it follows as such:

 

i truly believe that my light will shine brilliantly

but if she does not face her own demons

the laws of physics will be, physically

from light, there will be lemons

 

how do i get myself out from under her roof

when her very roof limits my own spaceship to skyrocket?

 

i speak depth

she refuses to dive

i practice healing

she refuses to heel

i wish for growth

she refuses to water

i choose freedom

she refuses to decide

 

so,

here and now

i am choosing to rise

just don’t blame me

if she goes downhill

 

but,

i want to see

her sponging the breeze

it may be cold at first

but it will allow her to breathe

Author's Note

one of my ways of releasing guilt, ending karmic debt, via text and 'real life'.