Dear Ama ... from cappi

You can't control it you have no idea how to handle emotion and it shows, it tears you and him apart and if you dont get stronger faster your gonna loose him.. does it scare you little girl does it makes your hand quake in anger does it make you hate himself... how does it feel to love someone and know that your single handeldly tearing him apart, watchign him slowly loose the will to bother with you.

You tell yourself ,you tell him you'll be better you'll be perfect but your so afraid that you can't fix yourself fast enough, you'r clawing at scraps .. Do you even remember what you wanted.

You strive to make him happy but because of that your hurting him... your nothing but a failure and your right you are impossible to love , but not to the faults you believe.

Not because you to fat, not because your to aggressive , not even because your not the most attractive girl in the world but actually because here it is the line and sinker because your a scared little girl and your not ready for anything you will face.

You where never ready for love and i think that has been your demise ever since... i could of saved you , i could of saved him but you wanted to go it alone you wanted to be with him , with me interfering as little as possible and look where you are.

He'll leave you Ama, he'll leave you cold and alone with no hand to guide your through the darkness and the funny thing is you will deserve it , you will deserve the blade you drag across your wrist, adn you will deserve the slow and painful death as you slowly cut yourself from every inch of skin visible... Dont you get it , your destroying yourself, and why because you want to be thin because you want to be happy because you want to be perfect.... but your getting worse yes your getting thinner yes your getting easier to work with but at what cost.

Your going to die.. and your going to take him with you 

the boy you never meant to hurt , the boy  your skipping around now the poor lad who has no idea that he's bitten of more than he can chew with you.

And he can't handle it, but can you blame him, does it hurt that you can see what your unstable mind is doing to him.. i hope it burns ama, i hope it burns till you feel nothign, till you become cold and you let me take charge... till you willl truthelly be perfect , till you become so bitter and empty that my way of destruction becomes just as beautiful as your dreams, that your pathetic childish wish for compassion is reavealed as just that a pathetic imaginary thought.