Its like loosing a farther

Something for my stepdad.

Its like loosing a father to have you leave... and you will never know the pain i feel about it.. sitting here with friends fighting back tears because your gone because i had to watch you walk away again and it kills me....you showed me family you showed me a positive childhood taunted me with and then you left me as always....not that i expected you to stay of course you have a daughter that's yours by blood and i'm what your ex's child, im nothing i see that dont worry... but i care.... I care to much...You made up for my own fathers short comings and showed me what unconditional love is.... but your not my dad and it hurts.. you are more important than you know...but I can't say that , im not your child so im not meant to feel this way.. its not supposed to hurt when you walk away.... I'm not meant to miss you when you fly back home, to your real home, in brazil... with your real family without me. But i really do i really f*****g miss you and i know, Im not an idiot i know i won't see you for years and that your promises of seeing me soon are empty and trutheless... i swear if your argument with her means I wont get to see you again then ill never forgive either of you ever.. because your my father in my head anyway... your the only dad I had .. and you keep taking it away everytime you leave me but i understand you have a real daughter one you made and im just the child of a woman you used to f**k so its easy for you to walk.... but its impossible for me to watch .. you just appeared when i was young and alone and treated me like your own... you cared for me like a father to a daughter and i got attachted... I saw you as a real dad I still do... the kinda dad that's always away the kinda dad that .. i dunno.. who am i kidding your not my dad.. of course not but everytime you leave its like a relative dies...just i dunno....stay this time ..stay in london i need my dad... but there's no connection nothing that means you have to and my love is never enough for anyone.. but i love you Gil.. I love you dad .. please come back please.