Alert to the nighttime

Its 6am, and im awake, listening to the sounds of early morning birds. Of buses carrying the first few to there early morning jobs, i haven't slept yet. I haven't lain amongst the dancing dreams of my imagination. Just dabbled in the pictures on the ceiling ,shifting slightly as my brain begins to loose focus. Lack of sleep, drives you insane really. Lieing alone staring upwards at the ceiling hour after hour, night after night.. alone, with noone beside me to soothe me into a comfortable dream. Not that i mind of course, ive never been a good sleeper , even worse when im alone, i get afraid of everything. Of the wind blowing against the window, a piece of dust dancing innocently 'across the floor. Im terrified of everything , each movement projected as something else in my mind. Paranoid, im scared to death of my dreams, of there perfection. There illogical connections. I cant understand them, cant intellectualize them rid them of emotion. My biggest fear. Why am i awake? Why must my mind wonder so aimlessly at such early hours? It dosent gain anything except for the starving of the brain of rest, and im already pyscho, already psychotic. Already imagining things that aren't there, but at least i kno there not, i mean it would be worse if i just couldn't tell the difference. Im really tired, exhausted in fact, my brains just streaming out words, in an order hoping they make some chronological sense, and aren't quite as jumbled as they sound to my dreary ears. Its never silent you kno, at night, in the morning, this city never sleeps. There's always some animal , some drunk, some car.. there's always something tearing the silence, breaking through the calm to bring a storm of little giggles , creeping over the horizon. I need sleep, i always need sleep. But im the one thats always fine, the one that nothing bothers, the one that nothing stops sleeping. So why do i lie so awake now?