Im sorry mum

Looking back i cant see it went wrong.. where you and me lost complete touch and hatrid crept in and im sorry if ive done you wrong…. but your loosing it now, and i dont kno how cause your better than me, mentally better than me..but im so scared of you , your mood swings and everything im terrified, im so terrified , you dont understand why i always keep  my distance why when you hug me i flinch,… i dont kno what to do when you sit there twitching saying things are going thru your head, when you just lie on the floor crying..

where not close, not at all but i care i cant not realy.. im sorry mum, i dont kno what to do but you need help .. you need alot of help but i cant help you, ill never be able to help you ..  but im scared, im so scared you’ll hurt me, your getting more and more aggressive  and less and less predictable and im scared of what might happpen , please stop talking to the cats and talk to real people..

But please dont talk to me…. i cant handle you anymore… you’ve scared me

i want my mother back, the one you used to be before we lost touch …before you lost touch with reality.. 

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I'm bi-polar and at times I'm quite crazy. I don't take the meds. They make you sleepy, stupid or suicidal. I talk to the furniture if I have something to say. lol I hate the cat anyway. The dog and I get along though. The inside of my head is Grand Central Station, a million thoughts arriving and leaving by the hour...some linger and those usually end up in verse. But "real people" aren't all that great. Most of them are only plastic people impersonating reality anyway. Everyone is crazy if you ask me. It's just a matter of how crazy we are or how strange we allow behavior in ourselves or others. Everyone has varying degrees of tolerance.

[Michael X]

the anguish you express here is of a heartwrenching- raw nature, consuming
the reader can't help but feel the deep, soulful selflessness, wow, great writing

[Chirinos20]

Reality is not a word I like to use. It is something that is not defined. Your story saddens me. It is hard to be in your place. Not being able to do something to make another person act in a different manner. In the same way getting hurt and being scared of that person that should love you. It doesn't matter if its your father, mother, boyfriend or friend. It is the same to me. Great writing.

[Jibey]

Not unknown fr such turbulent feelings to aflict someone your age... I couldn't stand my mother when I was 18 - and in later life could only be back for half a day without having a row... She's dead now... I look back with respect but I don't think I ever really loved her...