Im not insane

I swear to you all im not, im perfectly normal i kno when things are real and when there not because im not insane not at all

I can see people , but there not there, there not real so they cant possibly exist. But i know that ,so how can i see them, im not an idiot they shudent be there i shudent be able to hear them there's noone in this room noone hear with me noone but the cats in this house. But i think there might be in my mind, little people running around controlling things. but thats crazy right not normal insane, but im not insane im a little weird im a little off key but im not insane. I undersatnd the world we live in, or as much of the world we live in is possible to understand, but we cant understand it all we cant physically being to understand it all. And i just grasp little things little points that mabye i shudent be able to gather or find out. Things i come out with noone gets, or people struggle to get because they make no sense, but they make sense ot me , but why not to anyone else and im not insne for thinking them for exploring ways that the human mind works. Im shaking , reading these aloud screaming them almost syllabul by syallabul as i write, repeating the bits i make errors on as i go back and replace the words. Im not making sense, but i dont do i becuase im insane because im crazy, but am i , im stuttering reading this out as the words spill from my mouth onto my finger tips where i press the keys and just write. I want to run, but i cant, i cant because, wait i dont kno why i cant i just cant run not now. But i mean i cud run but where wud i run to , where would i go . I mean i cant get away from my mind from these thoughts these breakdowns, thats what they call it a mental break down but  im fine im stil thinking , i still know whats logically impossible and what isnt i still know who i am. Or i think i know who i am but i dont, but noone does  i mean i kno who i am in a sense im Ama may cooper but who is that, who is that girl just a person, an entitiy in a world. A living being , but that means nothing as to who i am but people make judgements on who i am all the time sometimes there judgements are better than my own but they just think im crazy, not in a mental way crazy in a strange hyperactive way but mabye im actually insane, mabye mabye i dont know. I cant even think to write this passage this short piece of collective words because im just talking and and writing as i talk, not really thinking to cheak anything , to make sure the sentances make sense, but they might becuase i dont know im not good at grammer anyway. but right now i just need to let go, let these words escape and run free from  my mind because im loosing it , i need a grasp to stop shaking to stop rocking. But its not like that im shouting this at the screen but noone wil hear me just mabye hear me, ever make a noise, but im to quiet. Everyone says im shy, that i need to speak up , no that dosent make sense as a sentance does it. I think im hungry but im not but i havent eaten all day but im so nervous of things edgy mabye eating isnt wise. Im agitated, angry confused about what i am but i dont kno what i am other than im a human being what ever that is a living a breathing a living thing an item on  a planet if planets really exist and this isnt some dream that some strange being created and made me exist in. I sometimes get these ideas into my head of what people are doing or thinking and most of the time there right and thats not normal right noone can read peoples minds, its just luck , i think i mean there's no such thing as being pyschic.Whats insanty?.. whats sane? cause im not isane just think a little weird , shout it let it out free the mind let it roll. My eyes, my eyes there wide i can feel them fell me pushing them open so that i can see but i cant see anything other than the room the computer screen. Its infront of me i hear the news, next to me, by my ear the tv i have it on to watch but im not watching it im writing letting my mind run. I need to stop , stop beacuse im getting worse, im shouting louder rocking more i thought the writing would calm me down but but but it wont. i need to act normal so noone knows im breaking down mentally i go drinking tomorrow. Wise i dont know but ill be sane then have on a sane front not mumble words noone will hear. I said to him i loved him today but i made sure he didnt hear under my breath. Like most things i say like most things i utter i mention nothing importnat, im not important. one in a million milllion million million others, that walk this planet just people like other people. STOP STOP . time to breathe to think normally to stop writing this insanity talk quiter calm down , stop rocking breathing, im ok now im fine everything is fine everything is always fine .Im always fine . Im invicible.

Author's Note

Ok this wasnt wrote to be read its literally juts me having a mental breakdown

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[Kevin Chelsea]

Well, here's hoping things things are running a little more smoothly nowadays.