Simplicity

Im rather dispointed with this but thouht what the hey miht aswell post it and see what gets said about it

Simplicity

of everything

of time and space and meaning

smplicity is nothing

just a word

humans cant grasp it

of time that ticks without an end

no clear beginning

nothing simple

forever forward

never ending

simplicty

of space of everything

simplicty is nothing

just a word

humans cant grasp it

of endless room

and endless escapse

where planets roam, and elements are made

goes on forever , seeming to have no end

black, blue, many colours

simplicity

of everything

of nothing

misunderstood calcualtions

humans cannot grasp it

simplicity

is nowhere

is nothing

nothing is simple

Author's Note

I really dont like this piece theres something about it i really dislike.. but what they throw it at me guys

Reviews

[Jibey]

It does manage to make its point!

[lunarfirewolf]

wow the poem is strong and the poem has a real meaning too.

[Kevin Mattingley]

Hi

I love the twist at the end, reversing back on your idea and introducing contradiction and uncertainty. Maybe your narrator has been very certain through the poem and then suddenly you introduce a really different emotion, doubt?,

You could try ordering the sentences differently and leading each stanza with 'simplicity is nothing, just a word'...

Love the end twist!

Love

Kevin x

I think it's a rather decent poem, though I have to be honest, something does seem a bit off. Perhaps it's the repetition of "simplicity is nothing, just a word".
But this could be really good.