Philophobia

In a sense affection terrifies me

The uncontrollable emotions 

The subtle but definite fleeting sanity

There is an unsettling flutter in my stomach

A panicked desperation to run 

Way too much, too sudden too soon

The application of a label 

A simple phrased suggestion

Caught uncomfortably off guard

I find myself flailing

There is a curiosity in my heart

A niggling tug from deep within 

But my mind bubbles in questions

Like a toddler thrashing about in the sea

Alarm bells ringing in my head

I am both troubled and flattered

anxious and yet somehow soothed

I cannot place my own thoughts

The idea of this connection

Even the mere reminder of the possibility

Slowly, tread lightly, tiptoe on the rose petals please

Like a rabbit, ears pricked listening

Ready to scurry off into the night

Tentatively daring myself to stay

I am weary of having my mind invaded

Of bending my own will to suit another

Of any required dependence or unrequited requirements

I am afraid, I am terrified

This concept of dutiful affection

Already a furious hurricane in my brain

Reviews

[xhannyx]

This was expressed so well and the writing is beautiful!