a dangerous desire

You know those win win situations? Well this isn't one, this doesn't have a happy or simple solution. This is the turmoil of a mind that started to listen, a mind that swore it would lock itself away and never be touched again. Opened and aware and terrified.

There's a vague possibility of impossibility but that's hardly reassurance enough to base safety off. And even with that glimmer it feels so strong on dangerous that risking it would encourage the overflow.

Its to late to run away, curiosity runs rampant now drawing me ever closer to an inevitable collision. I could press the breaks, but im unsure that would save me, a part of me after all wants to dive face first into the accident, not quite fearful enough of the carnage.

It's clear I cannot win, there is no way to approach this that gives me any higher ground, nothing I can do to merely diffuse this ticking time bomb.

Perhaps it will just patter away like raindrops on a rooftop, un-noted, un-noticed and gone before a chance of action. But what if it doesn't? What if it never fades but only intensifies?
I at least can hope this affliction is mine alone, that it extends not from the both of us but from my being, merely un-requited and cold. Perhaps it will be confirmed as nothing and merely die a discarded dream. The complications otherwise do not even bare thinking about and yet at the back of mind there is no doubt to what is desired. Not that I care to admit it. But this is not about wants and desires. This is about logic what's best, what's less complicated and by that front well hopefully it will all just fade away.

Reviews

[Seb Scoles]

Hi Ama!

I enjoyed this piece - you have a lovely way to play with similar/opposing words.

"There's a vague possibility of impossibility..." is a lovely sentence!

Only thing I can see off-hand is 'to late', should be 'too late'

'Perhaps it will just patter away like raindrops on a rooftop, un-noted, un-noticed and gone before a chance of action. ' Great imagery!

All the best,

Seb