Reaped by Fate

I am personally not so keen on this piece of my work. It feels wrong some how.. give me your honest opinon dont hold back let me hear it

She lay within the road

Her body silence by a specter

he came cloaked in the night

disguised as a flashy ford fiesta

Her ballerina toes would dance no more

dismantled under Tyre 

the curtain of her night falling hard

not even a shiver as she lay beneath the stars

Clutched between her hand a ring 

her fiance falls to his knees

onlookers gasp 

The fun of the party extinguished by her corpse

He left as soon as he came 

Sweeping away the evidence 

His ghastly cloak wiping the car from site

never to accept the blame

A friend stumbles forward

shivering reaches out in tears

touches the lifeless shape

a wail from a throat of tortured realisation

A rib cage indented by clumsy mistake

Her life terminated , scattered on the tarmac

The cheers of celebration silenced 

His victim collected and taken beyond

Voices mix in a saturated agony 

hopless tears for a hopless cause

Breathless she lay 

Detached from the living and taken away

Reviews

[afra]

simply beautiful ....great write