I’ve got a piece of the galaxy looking me dead center in the eye. Removed from cloud nothings, instead replaced by the branches of some old tree. It is dark but the moon is enough to illuminate time; the depth of descended day. I literally have become a creature of the night. Only showing my true form to incrypted darkness of roadways where i shape shift my desires to coincide with yours every night. I’m sure all of my time spent with you will at some point be written down and reanimated within the hopeless turmoil that my mind has become. Shining a newer, brighter light. I’m wondering if it’s true; that if you stare at the moon long enough you turn mad? You see it’s shadows and craters which go beyond sight, and within them does insight lie? The annhiliatingly beautiful gasps of dimensional lonely white that consume the elder hearts of the world like mine, like yours. And if this insight were to resonate within the whites of our eyes then roll back into the mind…..
WOW .....in the beginning i was wondering where were you going with this but as i kept reading i started to to get indulge by the details starting to accumulate in my mind showing me what was going on as i kept reading only leaving me to wonder will i go insane if i did stare at the moon,i to am a victim of the night my personality really comes out to light,nice work.
i can understand this piece well , i like it. its ridiculously abstract but interesting in that sense , also i like how you insert your personality into the abstract setting , that's something i can understand too. i can sense you're a fantastic writer , due to the fact that metaphor is also stacked more than Shakespeare. lastly i like that you bring the idea to the abstract setting and then the reader to it with you.
nice one....HEY...watch-out below:-
may be u'd like...............................................;)
"CREATURE OF NIGHT,
WHEN STAND-OUT AT MY SIGHT,
I'D RATHER KEEP THERE THAN TAKE A FLIGHT,
BUT...I'D LIKE TO TAKE A LONG BREATH VERY HIGH,
I WANNA TO GO AT THE TOP HEIGHT,
BUT,,...CREATURES STOP ME TO COME INTO THEIR'S BRIGHT LIGHT,
ONE DAY I'LL BE THERE , WITHOUT DIE,
& ''d GET THE DARKNESS & MAKE IT VERY BRIGHT,
COZ...GOD HAS GIFTED ME A DAMN GOOD SUNSHINE,
& I'LL SPREAD IT ALL THROUGH MY NIGHT,THAT'S WHT I'MM GONNA DO WHT'S THING'S R RIGHT,
IN THIS CREATURES DARKNESS'S NIGHT......"
No, not madness, but a fertile
imagination. Looking at the moon
and longing fo r a lost love can bring
one to the edge o f an other world
in which your mind wanders and the
imaginatiion soars to unbelievable heights.
YOu have done well. Your writing shows
great promise .
----- John