Uninhibited and unscriptied...
Relax and enjoy - sink into a comfortable old chair and recall a time when life had a meaning as powerful as love... eternity - eternally - equivalent
Two Equals We
Living inside each other, we know what we feel.
Passions… majestic… creation, feels so surreal.
Soar to new heights, a beautiful Mountain View.
Every moment given to us, we discover something new.
Hand in hand embraces, deeply emotions grow.
No words left unspoken, each other WE do know.
We've been given the gift of one, an equivalent of two.
As once - a million times spoken, I am you.
Attempt to dust away, the residual effect.
Set aside the consequences, this now - we'll neglect.
Word searching warriors, we are spiritual no doubt.
Hand to heart, with these words we will never be without.
Climb that hill; we'll see the massive valley below.
Fate has brought us to this point, like ink on paper - flow.
We live in today, moving forward to forever.
Love; it grows of magnitude, until the 'twelfth of never'.
Almost... Maybe I was caught up absorbing the rythym of the words. I loved the first four lines, waited to feel the beat again and didn't, but was compensated with the flourishing brush stroke of the clever last one, '...until the twelfth of never.'
Nice work.
It took me there, I've never been 'in-love' (at least with the returned affection) but this makes a person feel the sensation of being with that person you love, the passion and pure connection. Its visable in the poem.
Personally, I think you did well on the rhyming, it doesnt feel forced at all, it feels completly natural to the poem, unlike others where ryming is done for the sake of it, whether or not it contributes to the piece.
Well written.
Love the line...Word searching warriors, we are spiritual no doubt. Sometimes it makes the climb, the road, the stepping stones a little easier if we have someone walking with us. Love is such a powerful thing and through the think and thin we always grow. Beautiful way to express your passion.
I'm not sure that i'm a fan on the punctuation of this piece, it broke up the flow alittle too much (for me personally) - I like the couplets echoing the two becoming one theme, becareful though because the view/new-two/you rhymes set up another rhyme scheme that isn't held up in the second half of the poem. ALl in all i like it, i agree with the other readers the last stanza is my fav part!
"Fate has brought us to this point, like ink on paper-flow", my favorite line in the poem.
"Word searching warriors, we are spiritual no doubt", like that line, too.
Like the last two lines, but would suggest using "in magnitude", instead of "of".
Good rhyming scheme, excellent flow to this poem.
Putting it in my library! Barbara
Very lovely--it would make a good song lyric. Sounds like you found "The One" The beginning of a love affair can be so overwhelmingly ecstatic. How does one maintain that kind of energy?
ohh another love poem hmmm it was good... sweet rhyme scheme though the words flow pretty orderly and had good effects when i was reading it.... nice job