Searching Deep Within Myself

Searching deep within myself

Wondering why I feel this way

I close my eyes and all I see is you

I don’t know why…

 

Reach my hands to touch your face

While your brown eyes look deep

Into mine

Your stare says more than the words you

Hide inside

Open your heart to me and let it all go free

 

Think of you before laying myself to sleep

Just to find you running around in my dreams

You said “when you’re ready, we can be what you want us to be”

 

I run away from you

I just don’t know what else to do

So, closed off inside that I can’t

Scream that I LOVE YOU TOO

I feel like a lost soul; lost my way

No idea how to return

 

If I use this map will it guide me back?

Is that the road for me?

Maybe I will run away and continue to

Feel incomplete

 

Tell you to let it all go;

Once you do, you will find the truest you

But we all know I can’t seem to do the same

Only in my dreams I give you a glimpse

Of what I feel for you; and even there

I have doubts

 

Maybe things are better left unsaid

We both know nothing really works out

In the end

But here I go again, finding reasons

To not let you in

 

I block my own happiness by not telling you

How I truly feel

Letting fear control every part of me

I don’t say what needs to be said

I don’t touch you the way you need to be touch

I don’t hold you tight the way you did the other night

 

I push you away every single time

Leaving confusion in my mind

 

When you are what I want;

What I desire and what I need

 

You are ready to take the lead;

To give me what I need

To run wild with me

You have no doubts

 

I promise you I will figure it out

I don’t know when and I really don’t know how

Fear will not win,

At least not this time!

 

Just know this, that one day

You will know everything that I feel inside

There won’t be anything left unsaid; nothing

To hide

I will give you all of me; give you your chance to run free;

I will no longer feel incomplete