Confused souls

A Story by candaceflynn

to you, the unending story of how complicated life and love can be

To you, the unending story of how complicated life and love can be.

When I was a kid, the only thing that hurts me is physical pain. The bruises you get when you trip over or fall down. Looking back now, I wish I could have just stayed as a kid. No heartbreaks or difficult life decisions you need to make. Everything is just laid out.

As a kid, I despise every little decision being fed to me by my parents. Foods I need to eat and finish clothes that I should wear, that damn afternoon naps and the home works needed to be done.

It’s funny how these things would make you cry now that you are an adult. How you wish they can just tell you what you need to do and everything will be just fine. Ironic how you need the things you hate before; that much needed sleep is now a struggle to take. Most of all, there won’t be any food ready for you to eat, no clothes picked for you to wear. Every little thing you have to make and decide on your own.

Love, on the other hand, was just happy meals and play time before. Never have I imagined that there was more of it. As I grow up, I started to realize that there are a lot of things in this world. It is a mixture of all of the emotions you could ever feel; Scary- to take a leap of faith to a thing you would never know how it would turn out. Thrilling- it’s like jumping off a cliff onto a beautiful sea. Happiness- when at times you just smile to yourself and feel butterflies in your stomach. But then there will be these times when you just feel a little ache in your heart that you cannot explain.

There will be a lot of complications surrounding this so called love. And of course there are so many kinds of love. The love you cant have- the fucked up situation when you can’t do something about; The one where you’re in between ruining everything and just walking away from it.; the love that you have but don’t want- cause sometimes we are just so stupid and pained that we accept the love we cannot even give back.; the one we just settle with-it’s the kind that we don’t wanna acknowledge or move forward cos we are at loss where we stand. Often times we are scared to admit it even exists cause we’re so frightened we might lose whatever we have now.

I guess all these make love so special and worth it. Cause when you find yourself through these complications, that’s when you know it’s the right one. The one you can hold on to for the rest of your life- that no matter how hard life and love will be, you will still be fighting for it happily. It has its ups and downs but at the end of the day, you’ll think to yourself, “God I’m lucky”.