"Just because you cant take a joke"

A Story by camel954

Maybe to me its a reality not a joke

Aren't jokes supposed to be funny?, something to make people laugh or smile?, something that people agree is funny?

Am i wrong or are they supposed to be?

Then why do we joke about serious topics like mental health, suicidal ideation, depressive episodes, religious attacks?. They are not funny and never have been funny. People may joke or add comments of it if they know how it feels or use it as a coping mechanism which is better but still shouldn't be said.

Jokes are not funny when they become repetitive and when it starts to effect people. NOW for the story.

She always laughed at the things people said around her as everyone else in her friend group laughed. The jokes were always so creative and to it seemed as it was targeted to another person in her friend group she was alright with it as she always checked in on him to see if he's ok, he always was and found the jokes funny himself. Jokes about personality and what they thought they would do when they would be older, jokes about financial situations and how money was always something that was needed and comparing how others looked to certain film characters that weren't always the best looking.

The same jokes were used over and over and over again, becoming repetitive so everyone had to resort to new jokes that only a fair few would understand like inside jokes or friendship jokes. Sometimes she wouldn't get the jokes or wouldn't understand them so she laughed anyway cuz she didn't want to feel left out by the group. They felt happy so she felt happy too.

Little did she know she would live to regret this, why? well why don't we just see.

As friendships grow and as they change, people start to grow and change, people's looks and personalities start to change with them too and with that people start to separate and close doors to make room for new ones. She was still young, young enough to not understand what she felt, young enough to not understand words or meaning, young enough to not understand how manipulative, toxic and vile some people can be towards others. What she was young enough for is to feel and understand how she didn't have anyone, home felt unsafe, physically abusive individuals made it hard.

She started to grow her own mind and her own understanding. What she found out wasn't pretty AT ALL. Friends she trusted. Friends she loved. Friends she thought loved her. She researched, read books, listened to audiobooks about manipulation, mental health and everything that she could think of, not because she wants to turn but because she wants to know.

The jokes her "friends" made about each other were actually about her, her feelings, her looks, her personality, they were always about her. She was always the target, always the intended audience.

YEARS upon YEARS of jokes, trauma and fake s**t being said made her believe every single word people said when "joking". She CANT take jokes anymore, she takes everything seriously. What makes it worse is that when people say they "love" or "like" or "deserve" something of a kind she will never believe them again, no compliment will ever be taken seriously. She now thinks positive things are jokes and laughs at them, compliments are not a thing anymore, laughter is used to fill something that she misses but knows she will never get.