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A Story by Chronos

The pain coursed through Marie Smith’s body from the bite.
 “Lucy,” She yelled to silent, black night, “if you can hear me follow the sound of my voice.” She continued.
 “S**t,” Marie muttered to herself after waiting for Lucy to return. “Lucy! Get back here now or you will be sorry.”
 “AHHHHHHHHHHH!” A woman’s scream echoed though the forest.
 “Lucy!” Marie screamed, “Lucy, where are you damnit!”
 “What are you doing!” A woman’s yelled
 “What’s happening?” She hollered, “Wait, who are you, what are you doing? Stop!”
 The next day
 BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
 “She’s waking up Doctor.” The nurse said.
 “Good, she was out longer than expected though” The Doctor Jones said
 “What’s going on, where am I?” Marie asked.
 “Whoa, miss you were found lying in the middle of a forest with a small gash on the left side of your head.” Doctor Jones said.
 “Wait, was anyone else found in the woods?” Marie asked.
 “No, why were you looking for someone out there?” Dr. Jones
 “Yes I believe my baby sister may have been murdered out there.” Marie explained.

© 2010 Chronos


Author's Note

Chronos
i have no idea where i'm going with this

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Reviews

Sounds like you have something good going here. Despite the small grammatical errors, this could turn into an interesting story.

Posted 14 Years Ago


It's a good start... You should try to continue it but don't push...

Posted 14 Years Ago


It's a good start to what could be a well developed murder mystery. Your writing style is easy to follow and you do dialogue well.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 29, 2010
Last Updated on June 1, 2010
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Author

Chronos
Chronos

Slidell, LA



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There's not much to know. I'm a 10th grade student more..

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Rapture Rapture

A Book by Chronos