Guardian Angels

Watering the sands, creating the lights of Eden,
Of flowers in the land of men,
In the circus of the stars, guardian angels ruthless in the sky
Dance the dance of life on the stage of the temple of God,
Acts of flying, holy dreams, the fruits of the mind are yours and mine.

Reviews

[ettorney]

Hmm. Not sure what's going on here. "Watering the sands, creating the lights of Eden, Of flowers in the land of men". Meaning what?

The circus analogy is a bit confusing. Perhaps develop it more, earlier.

I think you are referring to outer space, the stars, the heavens, as the temple of God where guardian angels dance. However,

The temple of God is man. Man's relationship to God. Not Heaven or the heavens if you will. I don't quote the bible out of zealotry, here. It's more out of literate analogy and as reference.

"Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If any one destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are." (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

You may have something but it needs a rethink.

[Sharkapillar]

Interesting rhyme scheme and structure. The rhyme seemed a bit choppy, but not forced. Or maybe it was accidental rhyme?
The third line is my favorite. On the whole a very good poem, the flow of each line seemed effortless.
~Blessed Be~

[alesuriko]

Pretty. Nice vivid imagery. I must say I have to disagree with ettorney's statement about the temple of God. Not with his logic and obvious biblical reference but the way you write it, "Dance the dance of life on the stage of the temple of God" sounds like the dance of life is being danced within humans and their connection to God. I'm not a religious person in any sort of sense but I understand the concepts and this is good concept art. I think the imagery is beautiful and I love the circus setting and atmosphere.

[~ Otto Girl ~]

nice we all have Guardian angel my Angel is god. So very nice job.

[Taylor H.]

short to the point and great.

[Michael X]

I see this as a celestial celebration, I think the comment by ettorny is great, at the same time I felt the whole vibrance reminded me of dancing angels,
especially, creating the lights of eden, that reminds me of twnkling stars.
Definitely enjoyed the form and flow. awsome job, keep it up