Guilt and Suffering

I am so confused
I am so lost
All I feel is guilt
At all the pain that I've caused
I want to rid myself of this guilt I bear
And learn how to cope with these feelings of despair
I lie to all those around me about these emotions that I have
I seek to terminate this crap
And rid it from my life
It's hard to say where these feelings arise
Except for this feeling of death inside
I thought I had found something, but I guess I did not
I thought I felt something, but I guess it was an illusion
Since all I feel is guilt and pain amplified each day
Beginning with my waking and ending in sleep
Each day brings another instance, where all I want is to decay
I want to rid myself of this fetter of life
I want to be free, and live a life without strife
What would death be like, after all?
The sweet embrace that I long for.
The chill of death's fingers across my spine
Are the feelings that I want to intertwine
When will life be over, and these feelings cease
When will I sort through this mental disease
When the cause is my thoughts, and the fuel is my fellow man
How can I end it, so to this pain I can withstand?
I doubt my every thought
And question my every move
I'm hurting those around me, and from this life I seek to be removed
I want it to be over, I want it to be done
Please end this suffering, and hide my life from everyone

Reviews

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

I was extremely moved by this piece. IT conveys the emotions so accurately. I can feel the pain in these lines. I especially like the lines, "The chill of death's fingers across my spine " and "When the cause is my thoughts, and the fuel is my fellow man." Looking forward to more such writings. Keep doing what you're doing.