Yes its me

A Story by Callum Mcleavy

I just got really bored and thought ill do this for a laugh

Yes its me, the chav mc, but everybody knows me as Callum Mcleavy,
Dole for the win, thats how im rollin, ive gotta sign on at quarter past 3,
Ill never get a job and if i do ill get fired,
But thinkin about it man ill never get hired,
Dont get up in the morning because im too tired,
Plus im on drugs so im always wired,
Roll up a joint put on a movie maybe?
Watch Austin powers say 'groovy baby'
If girls don't like me im not that bothered,
I like chavvy girls and i know that Sov would,
Well any kinda girl, im not that picky,
Dont give a s**t aslong as my dicks sticky,
My dicks 'notorious' its B.I.G,
Yours is 'tempah' because its tiny.

Yeah thats right, i really wanna f**k ya,
And if your tight, im probably gonna love ya,
Dont like slack girls, don't like fat girls,
i don't mind ones who share their fruit pastels,
Im no fake and im not a pretender,
shoutout to maccies and the job center,
Girls with pretty faces, all the boy racers,
And my drug dealers makin their wages,
Sellin me weed, sellin me ganga,
Put it in a bong to calm down me anger,
Vodka and fanta lets get pissed,
Chat up a girl and check out her tits,
Dirty b***h, feelin me bulge,
No doubt about it think i have pulled,
You call ya dick cena cos you cant see it,
She calls mine Jackson she wants to beat it.

(Verse 3)
Call my dick the bandwagon, jump on it,
Yours is disgustin you make girls vomit,
Yours is infected probably toxic,
Mines crash bandicoot smashin boxes,
Yours is freaky ya give girls the shivers,
Mines like a postman, always delivers,
Mine goes everywhere it goes on tours,
Ya can call mine Tyson cos it breaks jaws,
Mine is awesome thats why girls blow me,
You call yours akon cos it is always lonely,
Yours is borin, you cause no wetness,
They call mine 'Asthma' i leave em breathless,
They cant hold back these b*****s are restless,
Theyre beggin and gaggin to just get a pearl necklace,
Yeah im the bestest, the best by far,
They call my dick 'Bisto' cos they all go 'aaahhhhh'

Yeah its the last verse, leave it to the master,
Dont need ya advice and if i did i wudnt ask ya,
Ill tell ya why my names on the internet plastered,
I make a track then s**t out another minutes after,
Yes its me, the pisstakin mc,
I make a parody and make these haters mad at me,
Mc smalley, ndubz, gaga, akon,
I ripped the blackout crew too, oh wherve they gone?lol
You think theyre good well theyre way beneath me,
Look at my fan base then youll believe me,
Theyre blarin burberry on their blackberry,
I rip all the artists and there aint that many,
Who i havent ripped yet, i leave you all piss-wet through,
Cos im funny, I f**k like a bunny,
All the girls want me, they all c**k-hungry,
Hookers are askin can i take their money,
Girls sayin theyve done me, but i don't remember em,
I always get their names if im bell-endin em,
I wont say sorry cos im not that sensitive,
If they gotta a hole then my dick was meant to fit,
Mc burberry how do you think of it?
Think of what? All ya songs cos theyre f****n sick,
I dunno yo leave me alone go suck a dick,