fight club

she references a favorite film

to explain away his cruelty.

perhaps he felt

like destroying something beautiful.

she can relate.

though typically she'd channel the urge

and end up breaking icicles

or pulling petals off a flower.

not seeking

and then disregarding,

another human heart.

but,nothing beautiful

can ever really be destroyed

and she is like the icicles that melt

and rain down again to freeze

or the the flower

that still spreads her seed.

Reviews

[Nicole Hellene]

but,nothing beautiful can ever really be destroyed and she is like the icicles that melt and rain down again to freeze or the the flower that still spreads her seed.

Shoot you know what you are so close to an epiphany right here that makes the reader go "oh wow that's great" but it just falls up so short that its painful, I can feel it, it's right there, but not quite. Something about "her seed" lost me, but everything else in that sentence just brought everything else together because everything else was used and summarized in this one sentence, but "her seed" wasn't anywhere else, so it just felt out of place and killed the epiphany. Drats. I don't know what you should do because I don't know what you're trying to say, but you need to say it, something about flowers and icicles and seeds but I just don't know.

[caitlin m.]

i don't know that there is anything i can do with it. it began on a walk in the mountains where i live. when the snow was melting and the flowers were coming up. it applied to something i was going through, but quickly took on a different meaning and i dedicated it to a friend of mine. she had just given birth to a baby boy whose father had abandoned them.