The Emerald Eye

Slowly, two large malevolent emerald green eyes slid open, appearing much more animal-like then they had been before the ceremony, and the attack.Groaning to herself Vile climbed to her feet. It took the witch a moment to regain her balance and clear her head.

The young exorcist boy had given her a wound across the throat that would be the death of any mortal man or a very weak witch, But Vile was strong, and it would take more than that to kill a strong familiar witch.

Straightening her tight black velvet dress that was now in tatters, Vile walked away from the empty clearing where her coven’s Halloween ceremony had been disrupted by the exorcist and his accomplices.

The bodies of three of Vile’s fellow witches were scattered around the campfire where the embers still smoldered. Stopping at the border where the grass went from being scorched by the fire they let rage across the clearing to healthy and green, Vile felt the wound on her neck, blood still oozed over her chest and dried in her light golden hair.

She wouldn’t be able to speak for a while longer, but breathing wasn’t a problem. She didn’t need to.

Vile had suffered wounds similar to this many times before and they only made her stronger than the older witches whose age made them share the human need for oxygen, food, and water.

Deciding that she wouldn’t be able to call her familiar, Thorn, to her quite yet Vile marched out of the clearing and into the woods, determined to hunt down the exorcist and kill him herself.

Author's Note

i started this in the spirit of halloween and am thinking of making it into a book

Reviews

[Zetherella]

this is reall interesting, good write!

[Sid]

Interesting write, though it feels kind of incomplete I think, you have described everything very well and it held my attention. If you are planning of writing a book based on this then I think you should, this is pretty interesting...well done!!

[Dark Butterfly]

thanks!!

[J. Write]

You wrote this so well. Its so packed with beautiful descriptions with an engaging style of writing. Keep writing!

[Dark Butterfly]

thanks so much, j. write!

[Hamza]

all the best if you're planning to make it big, because it is fascinating and
your expression is tremendously influencing .. fiction needs such art ..
go for it ..

[Dark Butterfly]

thanks!!

[quinfinn]

experience is often the best teacher. don't stop writing ....i can't emphasize this enough. you have a true talent and will improve with adherence to your craft, much like your creature Vile here....nurture it and grow with it. great write!

[Dark Butterfly]

thanks so much!!!!!

[A Social Corpse]

For 13 years old you have quite the knack for writing. I would suggest to you that you keep going with it as you have some really good talent in it. Yes, there are mistakes in it, but we all make them and you will get a LOT better as time goes on. I love to see younger people writing, it makes me feel that maybe our species isn't doomed. Your story here is very good and I would love to read more of it, Vile is that female character I like. Stubborn, empowered, independant and doesn't take crap from anyone. Very good piece and please keep going.

[Dark Butterfly]

wow, thanks so much! it really means allot!

[kublakhan27]

Looks like you're well on the way to something good...if you're "really" serious about making a it full-blown book though, you might want to go over some of the punctuation, but that's just a technical thing. The story itself and your storytelling style is great :)

[Dark Butterfly]

thanks for review, and advice!

[kublakhan27]

No problem :)

[Dark Butterfly]

please tell me what you think

[Aehr]

i think it'll turn out to be an amazing book. give it a shot!

[Dark Butterfly]

thanks! ill try my best