Ode

What e'er can grace my face like you?
If sun be light, my love is Sun,
For morning always brings you new.
What name-- what voice is one like none?
It is the window raised.
My soul can fin'ly breathe
For you, my darling-- you!
Your brilliance not a waste--
What e'er you touch belongs
To you-- my heart, to you.

Why must you turn your eyes away?
Cold shadows are my dark embrace.
Goodbye is all there is to say
To me left here in broken space.
Give me a blanket as you go--
A cloak of sorrows black.
For warmth, a mem'ry leave.
At night I am alone--
For sun will not come back.
My morning petals grieve.

Our seasons all-- a Spring that runs
Straight into Winter.  Life.  Now death,
Whose golden face remembers Sun,
Whose leaves recall Beloved's breath.
A muse is gone, but ne'er
Is lost. Do you not know
Our words are life for us?
Our words mean you are where 
I am. And beauty grows
In our abandoned bed.

Author's Note

This is my first attempt at writing an ode. I did some research and then adapted that information to suit my purposes. :-) Please give honest feedback!

Reviews

[Damien Davison]

I honestly think this is amazing, I'll do some research on odes later and re-review when I'm off work, but as of right now this stunned me. Such an amazing job here, such amazing wordplay and flow.
So many great lines:
"What e'er can grace my face like you?
If sun be light, my love is Sun,"

"Why must you turn your eyes away?
Cold shadows are my dark embrace.
Goodbye is all there is to say
To me left here in broken space."

Really I thought this was great writing wise, as to the rules of odes I am not myself aware. Thanks for sharing!

[Caitlin Lea]

I am so very glad you enjoyed it! :-)

[emipoemi]

I have no words.....my voice is in my awe!! The first two stanzas are divine. The third has some technical oddities, but the flow is still there. Well freaking done!! Keats meets Shakespeare I'll grant this to be.

[zainul]

Impressed to read the ode.
You have perfectly expressed emotion and thoughts.
These lines made me very happy:
"And beauty grows
In our abandoned bed."

[Nick.B]

Great piece of write, for your first attempt it is very well written...great job

[Caitlin Lea]

Thank you! :D

[CreativeStroke]

This was beautiful Caitlin! For your first attempt at an ode... I would say you pretty much nailed it. Well done with this write.

[Caitlin Lea]

Thank you for your very kind feedback! :)

[Sami Khalil]

Cold shadows are my dark embrace.
Goodbye is all there is to say
To me left here in broken space.
Those are my favorite lines in this nice poem...

[Caitlin Lea]

Thanks! :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[thenakedverse]

this is absoloutely incredible. i know little about odes, but this definitely makes me want to do some research of my own

[Caitlin Lea]

I appreciate your very kind review! Let me know when and if you write one...I will be delighted to read it! :-)