I wish you were dead

I wish you were dead.
It doesn't mean I don't love you
I do
I shouldn't...but I do.
I wish you were dead.
I still haven't said that out loud to anyone
My biggest problem is that I don't even know
If you love me
If you wanted me
And yet, despite the fact that you might not love me
You expect me to love you the way I would if you had been loving
You're upset but how dare you be upset
That I chose
The woman who raised me
Over you, who was never there?
You were both crappy parents to start off with
But at least she improved
At least she cared
Funny how her improvement happened as soon as
She left you.
I wish you were dead.
But I love you
Daddy

Reviews

[Brittany Zedalis]

My goodness, I relate more to this than I realized I would. I haven't talked to my biological father in years, but on some level I'm sure I love him, even though I also can't stand the things he did. You did an excellent job of conveying the emotions.

[callmeamy]

It's surprisingly comforting to know that someone relates...Thank you for the kind words :)

[Brittany Zedalis]

You're very welcome ^-^

[Teresa Powell]

The feelings were deep and strong. You could feel what was being said and had strong emotion to it. I really liked it.

[callmeamy]

I was surprised by the strength of the emotions myself, as five minutes after writing it I reread it and started crying...I'm glad you liked it :)

[Teresa Powell]

That happens with me after writing something sometimes too.