Memory Heat

a poem about my absent grandmother

 Legs hanging over the edge of my bed the scratchy comforter reminding me of
the sweaters my grandmother used to wear in the summer
because her bones were too thin and too used to Texas heat.

I only met her once that I can remember and even then I was too
young for dates and years, because years didn't mater so much back then.
The meeting was awkward, stiff due to the things we'd heard from
back when mom was little, but those images didn't belong to my sisters and I,
she just felt like someone we should know, just in case, 
a friendly stranger living in our house for a while. 

She left an old, girlish nightgown behind
a little transparent. soft white fabric with 
tiny blue undistinguished flowers and a bit of lace, not too much.

I wear that nightgown sometimes,
usually with sweatpants because I can't stand the picture of her slit legs sticking out
from under the mid-thigh hem or the cigarettes that remind me 
of my own other and her bad habits of Carltons
and coffee before work, every morning.

It sometimes feels like we are trying to 
appease a ghost, me with her nightgown and mom with her smoke, 
As if grammy died here, in this house
instead of a nursing home in Texas, swimming in the heat.

Reviews

[Shellie]

The opening first of all startd really well...the similiarizing of the comforter reminding you of your grandmothers sweaters and the little info added explaining why. Then the last verse...trying to appease the ghost of your grandmother by wearing the nightgown and smoking the cigarettes.....doing things that 'belonged' to your grandmother that make it feel easier. Its sad writing but its very good.

[angelina neves]

wonderful piece of memories

[Gandré]

this was a wonderfully nostalgic piece, full of peacefulness offering a poetic insight into your world.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"of my own other and her bad habits of Carltons" Think you mean "Mother" here. This was a fantastic write and I loved it. It's filled with nostalgia and a sense of self-examination. It really is wonderful. I wish the text were larger here as it was a bit difficult to read for my old eyes but I'm glad I took the time to enlarge the print.