Hue

 Hue

 

I never was one to dress in black until the man came along and called me fat

And so I wore black until someone called me a w***e because my breasts were

Bigger beyond C-cup at the age of thirteen and so I went baggy like crazy

Wore pj shirts until someone, anyone would like me and maybe

I could trust them enough to like them back.

 

I was never one to wear black, hell I loved crazy colors

My mother would run into the local Marshals find the nastiest combination of yellow green and blue that made my older sisters go “ewww”

She’d take it home, give it to me and say, “That’s a Casey shirt”

And I loved them until I realized that color made it harder to hide

The bags under my eyes,

 

You can’t hide in color.

You cannot disappear in color you cannot

Turn invisible when you wear bright hues.

And color allows the nightmares to find you even in the daylight

It makes the panic attacks come out and fight you for your grip on

Sanity and it makes you doubt

Who you ought to be.

 

Color attracts attention, like how bright red lips and

skinny thin thighs and green eyes

With tiny tops to hide breasts inside

Attracts the wrong kind of attention.

 

Now imagine curvy hips an hour glass waist and

Breasts your mom might not be able to beat and imagine that in your

Abercrombie tee and tight jeans riding astride with a cowboy hat and suddenly you don’t have a hot teen aged girl you have a w***e on your hands.

 

I didn’t think I was fat until you called me that

I didn’t think I dressed funny until you asked how much money and

I didn’t think you cared until you wondered what has she got under there

 

And my best friend said, “They think you’re pregnant.”

 

I never was one to dress in black, never was one to stab my friend in the back until

She told the whole school – or at least just the people who mattered –

that I was a witch.

 

Never was one to give up on faith never was one to give into the chase

But I was never very fast and asthma claimed what strength I had and soon

There was no way to run away and I was cornered as the chanting began.

 

And all I remember is clutching my knees, hugging a tree so tight to my face screaming quietly inside my head

Where no one would hear

“God please save me!  Please stop this, I can’t take it, I can’t!”

 

And when no one answered I began to wear black when no one said “stop” to the chanting I began to wear black, when they cornered me and forced me into

The awkward child I now am, only then did I begin to dress in black.

 

But I love colors and now I wear them loud colors proud colors,

Colors that make other people stare and I dare them to try something,

Say something do something so I can stand up and shout “F**K YOU!”

 

But then, I never was one to carry a black cloud over my shoulder,

I think the best of people, especially when I don’t know them I tend to glorify those

Who never spit in my eye and when they do I am speechless,

Proved wrong once again

 

And when it comes to my friends – hey they know me so why would they hesitate

To hurt me, I mean, it’s just Casey after all

She doesn’t get hurt if she ever falls,

 

“I’m fine, I’m fine, no really, it’s okay.”

 

Until it gets to that day when I’m sick of wearing black and very suddenly

I look down at my translucent skin and yell,

 

 

“Would you look at that!

My hue is coming back.”

Author's Note

be brutal and let me know what you think!

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Okay, brutal it is.

The best part was the tittilation from all these cups.
C- cups and D cups . I still wonder if they are big enough
for a good drink.
Oh, yes. Hue. There are lots of shades of black, shiney,
dull or subdued.
The next best part was the discovery of skin. Was it "pearly",
opalescent or pink ? I forgot which , but it was nice and I`m
glad you discovered it.

In case I forgot to mention, this is a cute and interesting poem.
The story line is kind of strange to a guy, but the rest of it
is interesting .

I could`nt find any poor spelling and stuff.

Would you settle for an
admirable poem ?
OK it was darn good.

----- Eagle Cruagh