Fire Starter

 

chains limit my movement

though my feet

are

shackled lightly.

 

but I would not be the

human to take

a portion and

not the whole. 

 

do not offer me freedom if

it is half-felt and half-given.

 

do not promise the world

and limit the boarders

 

I see to my own safety and I

bleed my own blood, using pain and

harsh words to stretch the gap,

 

I flee,

finally free and flapping

desolate in the wind,

detached and finally

 

away.

Reviews

[Robert Erickson]

its pretty sweet, im not sure if you meant boarders or borders, boarders are denizens , people who live inside a place,

"chains limit my movement , though my feet are shackled tightly" why the though? these statements don't contradict each other , shouldn't of said "chains limit my movement, because my feet are shackled tightly" and what does the second stanza have to do with anything? what is it you are taking? theres gotta be something to take before you can take it... and if its freedom which you allude to later, it needs to be explained


also i'm not completely sure what gap you are referring too either

"I flee,
finally free and flapping
desolate in the wind,
detached and finally

away."

i really like this part a lot, very nice alliteration and word choice, the strongest most powerful stanza of the whole poem in my opinion =)

[Stonewall]

Whoa, what a great knuckle-sandwich of a second stanza you've got there.

[E. M. Murren]

This is an intense passionate write. Well composed and thought out. fine work.