Roots

uncover me... wrote this last year. Hope you like it :)

 

Fear is like a weight, pressing, choking me

with weeds and too many roots,

hiding my face from the sky.
 

Could you uncover me?
 

Rip the roots from under my skin and let

my body bleed its own blood,

breathe its own air

for a change.

In the absence of this weight, I can walk again,

build my backbone and my shell again.
 

Then the hammers come to beat me back to earth,

into the soil where it is moist and dark and

there I am loud, raging and fearless,

I even fight when the roots come back, wiggling

into my blood stream until I want them there,

until I need them there.
 

Silly, bloody roots that give me connection,

almost like a drug which sings a

rare, sweet song that leaves

you aching, reaching out with fingers and hands, blindly

until you feel the very life leaving your body, traveling upward

through he chain until you are no longer you.

You are there to feed the world, 

and the world

eats you from the inside out, selling

your dreams and memories on

street corners to draw

new victims into the trap.
 

There are days when I am so sure that

I want to

bleed my own blood,

breathe my own air, and then

there are other days 

other days where I take pleasure in

the roots that eat my life away…
 

You wouldn’t want to uncover me, on those days,

for I am weighed with fear.

Author's Note

honesty is the best policy :) be brutal

Reviews

[Stonewall]

Whoa, this slowly built into quite a powerful piece. The recurring metaphors of soil and blood give it a very dank atmosphere, and I understand the struggle your poem speaks of (unless I am way off the mark :D ).

Noticed a typo in this section - "traveling upward

through he chain until you are no longer you." 'he' I think should be 'the'.

Very nice work.

[Gandré]

This is too dramatic for a normal contest but it is perfect for a gothic poetry contest. Of course, everything is opinion. No hawk can be a pet so I wouldn't like to read often than once, it is escaping my mind set, but poetry is sentimentality, so we can choose. I can see your talent, how you naturally form your lines, your stanzas, it is flowing perfectly. One is matching one's ind against another mind with reason and interest, perhaps so. seems like you are a poetess of truth and humility. Also Tschechow was such a one.

[Zephyr]

i love the imagery in this, and the language just flows from one part to the next.
this is a great piece.

[Raef C. Boylan]

I think I know some of what this relates to, because the use of certain imagery is repeated
"the roots that eat my life away"
"weighed with fear"
"Fear is like a weight"
"feed the world"
"eats you from the inside out"
but then maybe this is all connected to the "roots" analogy - which you maintain throughout very skilfully. The way you've used it in this piece is original.
Seems to be an S.I. theme as well as the one I guessed at above, but I could be way off and reading your images too literally.

It flows really well.
Great piece; captures the reader through intrigue and crafted writing.

p.s.
"through he chain until you are no longer you." (he = the?)

[Christopher 'Windstorm'..]

honesty is best even when you have to use it on your self because why lie to yourself and hurt your own feelings? this is a well versed little peom and i want to thank you for sharing it.. keep writing because you have some serious talent!

[Beatrice Noir]

thats simply beautiful. like a faint truth in summer rain, i cant say why i like it, i just do. lol its not over done, or flashy.

[Jenny Davis]

I can't be brutal here but I can sure as heck be honest...This is an amazing piece of poetry, your talent shines here...I was completely enthralled in the words and the meaning, I think we have all been there a time or three....excellent stuff...wow! Thanks so much for entering this in the Vent Radio contest, I would so love to hear you read this there! :)

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Seems complex yet simple and it is only my mind that is not seeing this clearly as it is so well written ..
I think i will come and read again.. love it . the roots, we all have these and we all have days we are covered with fear.
Very nice writing.

Chloe
xoxo

[Emily B]

I don't know if I can explain what an extremely powerful piece of writing this is. . .

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

Wow. Intense. I am at a loss for words on this one and that is unusual. It is deep.
Of course it is called "roots".
Love All, Mejasha

[Valorie J. Shearer]

Well, Casey.. Huge suckfest!!! Just kidding! I thought it was very good, and I am not just "being nice." Take care~~~