drift

it's saturday and i'm wearing my sunday's best 

pearls of perspiration adorn my collarbone 

earth tones smeared against my yellow skin 

imagining your color against a bleak backdrop 

summoning sound in my silent movie 

i'm all dressed up with nowhere to go 

my calls are not returned 

seductive songs and apologetic anguish reside in my nightstand 

licked shut, tightly wrapped 

never to bare their weary faces to the sun  

so we take time to ourselves 

our bodies go on break until our souls do the same 

laying in porcelain with stained cheeks 

scrubbing away every missed opportunity 

the mistakes of the night before 

not the bearing of a body

but of what lies within 

until the rawness of sorrow is all that remains 

Reviews

[Rye]

Wow, very unique write as well as powerful in a way. nicely done

[Nearly Blonded]

thanks!!!!

[apennylate]

Sunday's best on Saturday...
Colors drip...
Licked shut...
No face to the sun...
Sand-paper makes for good make-up removal...
But only if your color is red...
Utterly jaw-dropping cleanliness to the sound and meter, whilst content is truly captivating...
16?
I was not S**T at 16....
Bravo

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of the language. You made the reader understand your thoughts. You danced on many topics and I wanted to read and know more. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[barleygirl]

This is a vivid & original way to depict the age-old cycle of going out at night, painting the town, & then feeling empty after superficial encounter(s) are done. I can feel the wistful heart of someone pining to be "someone" in somebody's life, instead of just being a star in her own life . . . so I get sad overtones from your softly painted depiction. I tried to pick some favorite bits of word crafting to mention, but I love every single word! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Nearly Blonded]

thank you! your reviews always bring a smile to my face

[Einstein Noodle]

i agree with Ms. Jewel ... soft/sadness ... well painted scene and character .. i can see her ... ready to go .. makeup applied ... in reading i "drift" external to internal ... love the body on break .. forcing the soul to follow .. reminds me of getting the flu ... during the most hectic of times ... and all I could do was stay in bed for the duration .. a welcome respite getting sick ... go figure right!? your closing leaves me striped of it all ... uncomfortable and very painful :( some very fine stuff here my new found friend! :)
E.

[Nearly Blonded]

thank you very much. your reviews are very thoughtful :)

[MsJewel]

Wow...you have amazing talent. The softness sadness in your words drew me in and held me through the last line. Truly exceptional writing. :) Julie

[Nearly Blonded]

thank you so much Julie :)

[adichie]

Summoning sound in my silent movie...

How is it you know how to do this at 16??? You should see my stumblings and bumblings at that age. There was no cinematic skill, zooming in on the material, then widening into a philosophical panorama of intelligence and wisdom to boot!!! I had none of these things, and yet you have them all, dear friend.

Your words are gifts to this cafe. Thank you for believing in yourself, and honouring us with them. :):)

Deb

[Nearly Blonded]

wow that means sooo much to me. thank you :) your words are amazing as well

[Laura Kate]

I love how this sounds, it reads so beautifully with an elegant pace and rhythm. The poem is so enjoyable to read yet there is a sadness and a loneliness to it. It feels effortless therefore, as if the protagonist is accepting or at least understanding of this disappointing situation. I really enjoyed this! Best, Laura.

[Nearly Blonded]

tysm for your reveiew :) your work is lovely as well

[Chris Shaw]

I love how you have approached this poem. I like your choice of language and the sound when I read your lines aloud. It is sad., especially your second stanza. Love can bring much sorrow that:s for sure. Very nicely conveyed.

Chris

[Nearly Blonded]

thank you for your kind words. and yes i really love alliteration in poetry. thanks for reading!

[Chris Shaw]

You are very welcome :)