Cold World

this story is heavily influenced by the Japanese movie "a grave for the fireflies". i have never watched the movie but i have heard much about it and this is my take on the story. do enjoy!

She died on the first of February. I know she did. There is no way she survived the night. It was too cold in the drains; even colder outside. She died with me wrapped around her. I guess that's all that matters. She hated the cold. I only wished she would be warm. 

It all started a few weeks before, when they found us. Our whole family, the four of us, had been relocated after we witnessed a man in a coat kill a man with his gun in the streets. When our father told the police, they said to him the man in the coat fit the description of a known criminal, and that if he had seen us, we would have died I too.  The next day our house burned down and the police said it was the same man. He must've known we went to the police; he must have had men "on the inside". At least that's what mom said. 

They moved us to Maine in mid-January. We got to our new house in a new car. She immediately told me that she hated the cold and wished there was a fire to keep us warm. We got in our new house and took up new names. Mine was Ian. Hers was Sarah. I liked her old name better. 

A few weeks later, the day before she died, we were playing tag in the woods near our house. It was cold, but she didn't mind. Our mom and dad told us not to go out by ourselves, but she was scared and I wanted to remind her of our old life. We snuck out the backdoor of the house and a little while later, while I was It, I thought I caught a whiff of smoke and a few minutes later the sirens started. For the second time that year, we walked home to a house in flames. Only this time, instead of holding our hands, mom and dad were inside the house. I had to do the hand holding instead. 

In the commotion, I convinced her that we should run off to the woods. We couldn't trust the police here because of what mom said about people on the inside. That night it got cold and windy in the woods and she wanted to go inside someplace. So we snuck back to town but all the shops were closed. I thought we might find safety from the night in the storm drains under the roads. I wish we hadn't. That night it snowed hard and it iced over. It was so cold in the drains. I tried to make her feel better by telling her we were living in an igloo. It was too cold to cry. 

I wrapped myself around her and then kissed her on the forehead like mom used to do. She died on the first of February. I know she did. There is no way she survived the night. It was too cold in the drains; even colder outside. She died with me wrapped around her. I guess that's all that matters. She hated the cold. I only wished she would be warm. 

Author's Note

this story for all intents and purposes is closed, however i am more than willing to receive any and all critique!

Reviews

[Mischa]

I really enjoyed the ambiguous beginning of the story, which increased my intrigue to read the rest of the story. The story could be improved by reducing the number of scene changes, as the many scene changes made it a little bit confusing to read. The conclusion tied up the story nicely and was touching. Overall, you've written a good story :)