Decide

a big decision needs to be made...

 

Wispy clouds flitting across the moon, giving me the shivers

You sit next to me loosely holding my left hand, carefully

The ocean repetitively slaps against the cliffs in a constant rhythm

And as times goes by the tide slowly moves backward, leaving

The moons light glistening on wet, muscle beds and locks of seaweed

I begin to move closer to you, matching my breathing with yours

I try to breathe your scent in to calm me. I focus on pretending

You are an extension of me- you silently allow me this

Facing the moon, the ocean breeze I tell you I am not sure

I tell you that this place, once home, is no longer

I say that my new home has become like this one once was

And maybe I am the problem, maybe I cannot escape myself

You listen intently, as you always have, gently, patiently listening

I purge further and say the unspeakable. I cannot love anymore

I have tried and nothing is like what we had as kids.

I say this fast, frantically as if getting all these soiled thoughts

Emotions, feelings out quickly will make it easier to deny in the morning

Or make them nonexistent; suck them into the ocean breeze

And somehow I might feel better or at least close the void in my soul

You tell me that I only have to do what I want to do in life

I need to find my happiness, whatever that means for anyone else

Salt tears stream down my face. Your eyes are shaped sad, sloped down at the corners but the blue-green color never lets sadness stay for long

You stand up

You tell me I have a choice

You give me 72 hours

You tell me that you want your home with me

We embrace and you bring my left hand up, between us

You look long and hard at the diamond on my hand

“72 hours Caddie to figure out what you want. After that I will be gone

And we will never speak again.”

A kiss on the cheek departs us

You walk quickly away

I watch you as you erupt into your runner’s stride

And I hold myself, shaking violently in the moonlight

Begging God for the strength I need

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Mariah]

Wow. I really love the beginning of this poem especially, I can totally picture and connect with it. The whole thing was great. *reading list* WOOT!