Counting Time

for my beautiful little boy...

One thousand nine hundred forty-nine minutes

Since the moment you left my side

I’ve counted a hundred different ways

And still the pain will not subside

 

It seems that years and years have passed

And like time hasn’t moved at all

Like I could open up my eyes

To see you running down the hall

 

Your smiling face, your arms outstretched

And I’d feel that excited rush

As you ask for just one more

“Hug, kiss, cheek, and nose, and touch”

 

One thousand nine hundred fifty eight minutes

And I could count a million more

Still I’d feel your child-like love

Just like I always did before

 

And every morning I wake up

Mommy fights the tears again

As I remember that you’re not here

And I try so hard to hold them in

 

I never got to say good-bye

And it just still seems so unreal

For you to disappear that way

And leave us here alone to feel

 

One thousand nine hundred sixty-six minutes

Since the moment you left my side

And all I can say is “Baby, I love you.

And I wish you had not died.”

Author's Note

For our (me and Daniel Gardner) beautiful little boy. He lost the fight against brain cancer February 2nd at 2:45am.

Seth, we love you soo much. Poems will never do you any sort of justice...

Reviews

[APOORVA]

heart broken love.
i can relate to every line of yours...
superb one
ironical, that when in love we start counting every second...
that's how it is

[Amber "Victoriomantic" ..]

You write so well and have a real talent. Your story is heartbreaking, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Technically, the pacing is great and doesn't restrict the raw emotion in any way, which can be really difficult in poetry. Very well done, and thank you so much for sharing this personal piece with us.

[Ama May Cooper]

Your suffering is so beautifully articulated into words. Such a sadden and heart broken tale presented so wonderful. A true tragedy when someoen so young is ripped from this world.

[Devons]

A very beautiful and very accessible elegy. It reads very well indeed and is clearly created with a clever simplicity of technique. Fools tend to think that something is very simple because it is easy to understand - but in actual fact it takes a good deal of intelligence and skill to make it seem that way. That is art.
And so is this.

[HorrorMaster]

Wow very sad

[Tinasha LaRayé]

this was so unique and beautiful. it sings off the page. I am sorry for your loss....life's pain is unexplainable sometimes. but you have illustrated in a sensitive and amazing way. I truly love your work!

[Lexi Nicole]

This is absolutely beautiful. I am terribly sorry for your lose, I know the pain of losing a loved one too soon all too well. Poetry is a beautiful way to cope, and I think that this a lovely testament to your boy. He would be proud of you. Remember that he'll always be with you, and if you ever need somebody to talk to about what you're going through, I would be more than happy to lend an ear.

I feel the emotion of the poem more than you could possibly imagine. I felt a tear starting to form. Incredible work. It isn't about the diction or the flow or language or anything like that. It's about the person who inspired the piece. I could really see that your heart was fully invested in this piece, and that is what makes it as gorgeous and wonderful and perfect as it is.

[Fallacy Pharmacy]

This is so tender and sweet... Perfect in every single way. The way you express your feelings is so extraordinary. The poem is so beautiful.... I am truly sorry for your loss-I bet you're quite tired of hearing that, but I am being honest... An amazing poem, down to the core.

[MissWordSmith]

angela, i'm so sorry for your loss... I can't believe it.
This was extremely beautiful..... so so beautiful... what matters now is that you keep him alive in your heart... i'm sure, i'm certain he's in a happier place now...
be well hun! and take care. you're strong,

[Chantel]

Oh my goodness....so sad...I'm so sorry for your loss....oh my goodness.... :'(
A beautiful poem though...