Currently Untitled

I am holding onto nothing

Needing rope that isn't there

How do I find my sanity?

How do I find resolve to care?

 

I push aside the sharpened blades

Ignore the thoughts of ending life

Close my eyes and try to breathe

And hope somehow I'll realize

 

That I am stronger than I think

That I am not always to blame

That there is someone here who loves me

Although I may not feel the same

 

That soon there will be brighter days

That rain can't always fall forever

That I am strong enough to hold

My shattered, dying world together

 

But today is not that day

I've reached my limit; this is it

What's to stop me now from jumping

From the ledge here where I sit?

 

I twirl the words around my finger

Those who told me I was fine

Those who pulled the knife away

From shaking hands and made me fight

 

I feel the tears well up inside

Recalling all those who have left

Who turned their backs, said I'm not worth it

That I could never pass these tests

 

Worthless mother couldn't save

Her little boy from haunting cancer

Worthless woman couldn't calm

Her lover's face from burning anger

 

Worthless girl who couldn't keep

Her friends from drifting far apart

Worthless daughter couldn't make

Her mother love her from the start

 

Outstretched hands, but no one there

To give her strength, to even care

The darkness overwhelms again

At her impending end she stares

 

A futile fight; it can't be won

A tightened noose; a loaded gun

Won't someone say that there's still light

That this won't have to end tonight...

Author's Note

Untitled at the moment. Nothing I can think of fits. I'd prefer that you not ask me to change anything, unless its a grammatical error or something that's just unbearably irritating to read.

Reviews

[Undying Glory]

very sad read, this tore me up from inside. i really liked this one, and in a way this was better untitled, kind of leaves everything to the reader. very well done!
"I twirl the words around my finger
Those who told me I was fine
Those who pulled the knife away
From shaking hands and made me fight"
loved that stanza!

[HorrorMaster]

very sad and it made me upset. Really enjoy this one.

[Allison]

I feel the same sometimes. But one thing that always pulls me back is the children. I love my sister and brother and I'm sort of like a second mom to them. But just know, that whatever you need, I'm there for you!

[Ruth]

Love, this is so raw, it is hard to not to be reduced to tears! lol
All this shows that heart is good, and although the heart is good, its a case of fate sometimes laughs at some more than others :(
Beautiful and raw write love
xx

[Coyote Poetry]

So much sadness and disappointment in your poem. Took me 20 years to forgive myself for deeds I couldn't control. I believe life kicks us in the head to remind us to hold tight to the good we have left. Today I appreciate every moment with my family and friends. I hope life is better. No words can heal a broken heart. Only time can heal the soul. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Tina Kline]

A very tragic but very real situation so many find themselves, that includes me. You describe well the desperation, the struggle and the fight and how those who could have helped we're never there. Those dark awful thoughts and feelings. I can only hope they will fade with better thoughts and feelings as your life changes for the better.

[MissWordSmith]

I will send you the review through inbox. Hold on amiga!

[Lexi Nicole]

This piece is so sad, but so well written. At some point in my life, I know that this a piece I would have related to nearly 100%. There's a certain strength in here mixed with the weakness that the speaker feels, and I think it's the strength of surviving through these feelings. Great write, really great work!

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem has many stumbling blocks to break one's faith, but the
strength it took to face the words should keep you on your feet.