Missing You

Some days the thoughts just overwhelm me

Long lost memories we shared

Though time may pass, they're just as poignant

The love's still strong, the pain's still real

 

I remember the way you caught me

Swept me up in your strong arms

Kept me safe when I had no home

Gave a worthless girl such endless love

 

I remember sitting up late

Spending hours on the telephone

Giggling, agreeing on all there was

Knowing nothing could shred the bond we shared

 

I remember waiting for you

Next to the lockers after school

One bear hug could make me better

One lame joke to make me smile

 

I remember your warm hands

Lifting me up when I wasn't weak

To you I was a fragile flower

You were my protective vase

 

I remember I could tell you anything

You were all I could ever want

Then somehow I began to lose you

Like every good thing that comes to an end...

 

But I miss those days

I miss the feelings that you gave me

And the love I didn't deserve

 

I miss your gentle hand on my back

Telling me it would be okay

That you would never leave my side

 

And I miss having you around

You who held my life together

I miss the days from long ago

When love was all there was to know...

 

 

And I wish I could tell you, face to face,

before time moves on and its too late...

Author's Note

No changes please, unless its something thats just unbearably irritating. I wrote this one straight through, no editing. One big gush from the heart. Comments and thoughts welcome.

Reviews

[Devons]

If you wrote this straight through then your conscious sense of what works and what is poetically correct as you write is very good indeed. As is practically all of your work that I have read to date. This is very polished but loses nothing of its personal heart and tenderness by being so. It is a very effective dedication to the loss of times gone by and of a love that has somehow passed. Your technique makes the reader seem to believe that the prose is lyrical and rhyming, such is the choice of words and the sense of natural rhythm. It is very good.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Some of your word choices here really highlight how this person has the ability to change lives. Things such as "worthless girl" show how the point of view was rearranged so easily. You really make it impossible to deny that love actually exists.

[Ashley Black]

very very well written good job :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Some people will always stay with us. We miss their smile and laughter. I like the gentle and kind memories. We don't need to erase old memories. They are left to remind us what good should be. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Miss Coral]

Really nice piece- the last lines especially hit hard and seemed to sum up the piece perfectly. The only thing I would think about changing (it bothered me throughout the piece, otherwise I wouldn't mention it) is that this is a piece that has a nice rhythm once you get a hold of it, but is somewhat difficult to find. Perhaps use some punctuation in some parts? Otherwise, really nice job.

-Coral-

[Workingonit!!]

Really moving piece on what felt like a first love scenario??? Lots of emotions playing out in this one.. brought back great memories of my first to read this!!! Carefree love.. or was it lust.. well I know for me it was both! No responsibilites, and well you captured the low self-esteem of a teen pretty good in this too. Some things change.. some don't.. loved the overall rhythm and flow of this. Great job!