(Just A Random Scene)

(Just A Random Scene)

A Story by A.Lee
"

the "title" says it all

"

                Mia grabbed the last small box out of the truck and jumped lightly to the ground.

                “You’re going to hurt yourself doing that,” Danny commented.

                She laughed.  “So you say.  It hasn’t happened yet though.” 

                “The key word being ‘yet’.  Just put that box on the driveway.  Me and Geoff will move them into the house and then you and Natalia can put just put the stuff away.  Organize things.  You know, all that womanly stuff that you women do.”

                Mia raised an eyebrow.  “Oh yeah, way to transport us back about a hundred years.  We just do the housekeeping, right?”

                “Of course.”  He leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on her cheek.  “How are you feeling, anyway?” he asked softly. 

                “I’m fine, Danny.  I’ve been helping move all day and haven’t had one problem.  Please, don’t put me out of the game yet.”

                “It’s only because I’m concerned…”

                “Don’t be.  I promise you I’m fine.  Okay?”

                Danny frowned.  “I just don’t want to have to say I told you so.”

                She patted him on the shoulder.  “I love you and I really do appreciate that you care, but I’ll be fine.  Okay?  Between you and my brother I think I have enough protection.”

                Mia watched as he nodded, still somewhat unconvinced, and walked back to the pile of boxes and assorted small furniture where Geoff stood waiting.  Sometimes she wished everyone wasn’t always so concerned for her.   Ever since she’d gotten away from Marcus everything had been so hectic.  She hadn’t been the same since.  In some ways, that was a good thing.  In some ways, it wasn’t. She shook her head as her heart started to pound.  No, she wouldn’t let her thoughts get the better of her this time.  She had work to do. 

                Taking a deep breath, she repositioned the box in her arms and headed up the driveway.  She looked up as Natalia poked her head through the front door.

                “What’s in that one?”

                “This one’s for the bathroom.”

                “Who’s got the dining room?”

                “I’m grabbing it now,” Geoff called.

                “Well, do you think you could bring that up first?”

                He nodded.  “Yep, I’m coming.”

                Mia waited as Geoff carried the large box up the porch steps and up the first flight of stairs.  He looked over his shoulder as she followed behind. 

                “You got that or do you want to leave it by the door and I’ll grab it?” he asked.

                Mia fought to take in a deep breath.  “I’m fine.”

                “That’s not what I asked.  Mia?”

                She ignored him as she started up the stairs.  Suddenly, she paused.  “Why did you turn off the light?” she asked.  Her voice sounded strange as it warbled through the air. 

                “Mia?” 

                “Geoff, get her!” Natalia shrilled.

                She reached out for something to grab onto as her head disconnected itself from her body.  Her heart beat in time with the box as it slid from her arms, thumping loudly against each stair.  She took a deep breath as Geoff’s shadow spun around and reached for her just a moment too late.

                “Mia!”

© 2010 A.Lee


Author's Note

A.Lee
Thoughts? As the title says, its just a random scene. I know you have no idea who all the characters are, what the relationships are, or what is going on with Mia. You're not really supposed to know yet being that there's no back story :) And don't ask me what happens next because I don't know! Like I said, it was completely 100% random!

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Reviews

A sad story…
It is very unfortunate….
Life is a mix of fortunate and unfortunate events…
Liked the plot very much….


Posted 14 Years Ago


Ha! What an ending!!! I enjoyed this story!

Posted 14 Years Ago


GAAH! I want to know more. So I want you to know more.
I now designate it as your job. Get to writing. So I can get more from this story. :P

Great piece... vivid descriptions, already developed characters and plot, even though no one knows what the rest of it. Nice job. c:

Posted 14 Years Ago


Amazing I thought it was good.

Posted 14 Years Ago


OMG! I thought everything was fine. I felt so good about everything.
You really shook the life out of me. I was very intrigued about the backstory,
but the ending told me everything I needed to know. Dark, but really awesome.

Posted 14 Years Ago


The descriptions are good, and I would like to see more of it included with the rest of the dialogue. Actually, forget that. The dialogue-heavy text mixed with clear descriptions is quite suitable. I like your writing, it is beautifully straightforward and engaging. And the end is just wonderful~

Having just the one scene without a backstory really adds a kind of depth and mystery to it. Forgive me for not giving you 100/100.

Posted 14 Years Ago


hahaha it was really good, I enjoyed reading it. :D Great work, you're one of those writers who don't let go of the interest for a split second, even when the story itself is shorter. ;)

Posted 14 Years Ago


The write was good and solid and the situation was understandable. I was at a loss to understand the disconnecting head part but I'm thinking; hoping actually, that it was merely a descrptive metaphor. Very good sustained writing throughout here. This could be a stand alone piece of flash fiction.

Posted 14 Years Ago


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it was pretty random yet at the same time good because the expression in it and the attitude seemed to form off the page the only thing is they raised their eyebrows too much ahaha it was good good job

Posted 14 Years Ago


Great scene. I liked this one a lot. The characters slowly expose themselves in their actions and conversations. The back story can go anywhere and might not even matter. It is the importance of this moment or scene that captures the imagination of the reader. Move forward from here. Great Job!

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on July 20, 2010
Last Updated on July 21, 2010

Author

A.Lee
A.Lee

Monroe, GA



About
I am lots of things, but here you'd identify most with the writer and avid reader. I have three beautiful children. The oldest boy, Seth, passed last year after fighting a long battle with cancer. .. more..

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