Strange how quickly we forget Where all the little pieces went The place from whence we came before Now locked behind the heavy door
We're so distraught by all the sadness So taken back by all the madness We look around with empty hearts At the puzzle of us that's come apart
But we can mend our shattered souls Arrange the pieces to fill these holes And once we start we'll realize How we were blinded by all the lies
We thought our lives were fading fast But we have the power to make them last Remember the pattern of the puzzle we had Before it was broken and we felt so bad
Slowly but surely we'll mend ourselves Hang our finished pieces back on our shelves Then we'll have pride in what we have become And cherish the day that we finally won
Wonderful rhythm and rhyme to this piece. Such a beautiful message within vivid imagery. You metaphor was indeed accurate and well worked out. I particularly like the third stanza, it really shows the strength and dedication of humans to fix themselves when they realize their flaws or that they're falling apart. The opening stanza really drew the audience in, I especially liked the image of the heavy door, very vivid and blunt. Well done.
I really loved this! I thought that the rhythm of this piece was just amazing, and that you managed to find the perfect words to describe how you were feeling at this point in time. There were moments where I thought the rhyming was a little off (for example, in the last line of the penultimate stanza), but for the most part, the poem flowed really well. I liked the way you used the puzzle metaphor, and how you referred to the puzzle pieces; it made for a really creative and hard-hitting concept. Great work,
~PaperHearts
Very nice work and the message behind the words shines bright. It is tough to lose the closeness of one you love and then trying to reform that bond. Nice work.
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
I think that the rhythm was a bit shaky in some places, seemed a bit forced, but altogether, this was another great piece. Nice job. c:
I enjoyed witnessing the rebuilt spirit. This poem lingers in the memory as a time capsule to be released when we need it most. I was inspired by your words and it made me feel that we can all be redeemed. This poem could force a person to forgive themself for whatever ails them.
I am lots of things, but here you'd identify most with the writer and avid reader. I have three beautiful children. The oldest boy, Seth, passed last year after fighting a long battle with cancer. .. more..