Detached

Sitting somewhere in the middle
River flowing quickly by
A thousand lives and dreams and memories
Caught in the current, swept away
But I am here
A separate being
Disconnected from the stream
The waves of life tossed me ashore
And I cannot feel anything

Author's Note

I intended to make this longer, but it decided it wanted to end here. Maybe I'll do something more with it later.

Reviews

[Kat Plunkett]

Blah.
numbness.
>_>
this poem,
is pretty much how i feel
when certain things happen or take place.

[Jamie S.]

I think the length is great, I love em short and sweet. Youve got a whole lot of emotion and strength in this wonderful little package. I really enjoyed this read thank you. :)

[Undying Glory]

it's great as it is, this length. i think this is one hell of a poem, really vivid and all. awesome

[deeps]

I like this i think it is a very well written write.

[Ruth]

I like the length as it is actually love!
Conciseness can actually have a harder impact!
Wonderfully moving, a lot of emotion and quite claustrophobic feeling!
Hugs xx

[Coyote Poetry]

It is easy to be detached in this world. I awake and I want to escape and not come back. But I see my two grandchildren who need a place to live and a wife who is concern for my mental health. I re-group my mind and do what I must. A very strong poem.
Coyote

[Nianque]

I have a feeling water is your favorite element. ;) It makes sense as short as it is. I would love to see you do a part 2 or continue this piece. I love it anyways. Hardhitting !

[Norma M Sutton]

This reads a little jerky at first and then smooths out. Nice affect for "tossed me ashore"

[The Analog Kid]

Great symbolism with the water. I think I would bear down on a specific theme. I get the tossed on shore part. Like you said. Maybe longer to whittle down the different themes that can be fleshed out here. I like compact, but I think you have more here too:)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Wow this poem totally swept me away. It hits like a sledgehammer.
I love it the way it is. It's quick, fast, and furious!