One Last Breath

What happens when you cannot write?

When you can only sit and feel?

Emotions running wild in your head

Your mind spins like a hamster’s wheel

 

What happens when there’s no release?

When the pain of life just builds

Like murky waters rising with no remorse

Seeking to drown your waning will

 

What happens when you reach that breaking point

And there’s nothing you can do

But watch the world keep spinning ‘round

While no one truly cares for you?

 

And what happens when you finally lose

The battle of your fading life?

When you feel your heart slowly giving out

So you give in    one last breath    then take the knife.

Author's Note

I decided I shouldn't have to post an explanation after each poem. Each person can interpret it how they wish and if anyone wants an explanation of why it was written, they are more than welcome to ask me.

Reviews

[Tommy]

You know I often wonder how long I will last. I suffer from Bi polar, and at times I don't think I will make it another day. I thank God that so far I have been able to hold on to His strength, because if it were not for him I would not be here. This is a great write, I love the pieces I can relate to the most, and this one hit home!

Nice work!
RLG,
Tommy

[PaperHearts]

This was a really heartbreaking write. There was something so fragile and desperate about this poem, and from the start of the piece, it seemed like it was just a huge outpouring of emotions, leading up to the final line. I liked all of the metaphors that you incorporated into your poem, particularly in the second stanza. The line 'Seeking to drown your waning will' was amazing. :) The vulnerability of this piece really touched me. Great write,
~PaperHearts

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we can't find a release. Life can overtake us. It can be hard but we must look for the good in a life. I changed my complete life 4 times in my lifetime. I reached a dead end and had to get away and begin again. Sometime we need to look hard and good at our life. Today myself I want to run again. But I have great responsibility and must overcome and go forward. A powerful poem.
Coyote

[Amber "Victoriomantic" ..]

There comes a stage in many people's lives where they hit rock bottom. Their lives could be fine-- they may have a roof over their head, a job, a successful love/social life, and yet they feel as though there is nothing going for them. This poem seems to resonate with that feeling. The one where your brain is screaming for help, but your mouth cannot make a sound. You almost start to panic as the world spirals out of control, and the rationalities of your mind are completely silent. This poem, for me, captured that feeling. My breath was literally stuck. Very well done. You managed to pull this off without sounding morbid.

[Dev]

This is so intriguing yet so sad. It seems like hope has been "lost". When something like that happens one has to realize that there are more things to life than giving up and that is what all matters.

[Ashley Black]

very well written as usual. i love your writing keep it p

[JENY]

Wow……
Fantastic……Really touching…very creative…..

[Crowley]

I can always write better when I am blind pissed, problem is I end up posting it and feeling bad the next day, but it usually ends up being some of my best work. This poem speaks volumes about the mind of the writer. I liked it.

[Dupree]

Wow, a very emotional piece. It speaks of a place no one wishes to be at though seceral live there. I am very impressed this is a great piece. Impressive as always.

[aftervision]

i pray that i never if ever find myself there at a place where i can't write two steps past my breaking point -- wow - you just put my wheels in motion my poet