Divided I Fall

There’s a whirlwind in my head

A frightening maelstrom of destruction

Tearing my heart and soul to pieces

Destroying sanity I barely have

 

It’s wreaking havoc in my heart

Because of all the things you did

As you sit pretty in your blinded life

False innocence cloaking your hideous face

 

As I’m fighting to keep myself from falling

Dangling by dangerously slipping fingers

You brush your hair in the mirror, smiling

Never losing a wink of blissful sleep

 

No, I take the pain for both of us

For when you left you broke our bond uneven

I got the bitterly frayed and stained end piece

While you got the one with pretty ribbons tied

 

And no one’s the wiser for you sit and hide

From judgment you know you well deserve

It’s why you smile behind your pretty veil

Praying your ugliness never comes to light

Author's Note

This is yet another written for my sister. Not a very nice one, unfortunately, but she's really frustrating me.

Reviews

[The Analog Kid]

When we have too much involvement with our siblings as adults, they can be judgemental and frustrating. Nice rant.

[Liza]

hmmmmm i often wonder if my sister feels this way about me...
are you the big sis?
sometimes i think she secretly resents my freedom in time and in my marriage
meanwhile her religion, strict husband and 3 kids keep her overly busy....

[WriterSki7]

Eh, a good poem.
Relatively nice flow, good words.
I'd tell you how to improve, but I don't really know how. As is, it's just another poem here on Writerscafe. Just my honest opinion. Keyword honest.

[James Watts]

Well written and a great way to blow off some steam.Siblings can bring about many irritations at times that is true.

[Allison]

This is truly amazing. It's very creative the way you used words and the picture is really nice and sort of blends with the poem. Awesome job.

[Tina Kline]

Nicely written poem filled with a lot of emotional pain. Sometimes family relationships that are not so good can be the most hurtful of all.

[Chantel]

This is amazing! Very intense and well-written. I especially like the first three stanzas. Keep writing! :)

[Aggie Skeleton]

Sounds like you're pretty angry. I like how you were able to put a lot of cold hard emotion into this.

[Crowley]

This one is hot off your chest it sounds like. The silver lining to your frustration with your sister is that she gives you plenty of ammunition for your pen, and you do a great job with it. Not a positive muse, but a muse nonetheless.

[R.S. Wilder]

I like this - it's raw emotion. At first I thought about another family member, especially in the last stanza.
Great work - again.