The Music

Its raining here tonight

Ten thousand tiny beads of water

Pounding hard against my window

As they etch their perpetual tap, tap, tapping

Deep into my heart

 

Once I heard only beauty

In nature’s gentle rainy tune

As it hummed through pat, pat, pattering rain

And rocked me in its loving arms

We sang together this lovely song

 

Now there’s only nothing

The trees don’t whistle anymore

The rain makes random noise not music

As it drip, drip, drips through my leaky roof

And drowns me in its sorrow

 

The music is all gone

The calming quiet of nature’s song

Now fades away in the midnight showers

As they rata-tat-tat to no one’s ears

Because we’re too wrapped up in ourselves to hear...

 

But its raining here tonight

Ten thousand tiny beads of water

Pounding hard against my window

As they start their perpetual tap, tap, tapping

The music creeps into my heart

Author's Note

Interpret how you wish :)

Reviews

For a poem based on music it's oddly devoid of meter, but in its own interesting way. There's a nice rhythm each time you inject the onomatopoeia (truly a word one does not get to use often) but it feels out of place when the rest of the poem is essentially freeform. Then again, perhaps that is the point? The rhythm of the sound is clouded out by the static created by human mechanisms. Maybe I'm looking too deeply.

I'm a lover of music, and particularly this poem makes me think of The Doors - Riders On The Storm. It's a slow relaxed melody with gives a sense of raindrops falling, although I think your poem bears the opposite concept of raindrops falling, giving the sense of a melody.

This is a poem for a rather solitary heart, I think. One can't see the meaning while it's alongside anything else, otherwise it doesn't make "sense". I don't think there's a deeper meaning or a need to think for this one, because it describes a feeling. Almost the same one I use to write, where I disconnect from the rest of the word and listen to the rhythm which gives birth to words and ideas.

Nothing then I'd consider flawed. A lack of meter is something I normally chalk up as a negative but it's fitting here, where no rhythm is a rhythm unto itself. Rare to find a poem where I don't stop to think, but to feel.

[Ashley Black]

very very beautifully written. i love your poetry because you do an amazing ob portraying a theme that leaves you to think not brainwash you. it's very beautiful don't stop writing! :)

[Jessica Mai]

Awesome! awesome! awesome! I mean really... this is so beautiful. This really touched me and i loved this line "Because we’re too wrapped up in ourselves to hear..." which is so true. Your descriptions are beautiful and the onomatopoeia give this like a natural rainy beat. Really well done!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought it was good. When I am up at night because of insomnia I listen to the rain whenever it is raining. It doesn't always rain. Well I loved this. One of my favorites. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Chris Lotus]

Heheheh, the onomatopoeias used in each stanza make me chuckle...theyre very effective and (from personal interpretation) connective to "The Music" by emphasizing beats and/or rhythm.

[Crowley]

It never really leaves, the possibility of anything being beautiful is there regardless of our situation, we just have to open our eyes and listen with the appropriate ears. Great stuff.

[JENY]

How nice…..!!!!!
It seems that you are in love with words…
How beautiful….really..
I am not flattering….or blabbering…
a great job...indeed..

[PaperHearts]

I liked this a lot. We're heading into Winter over here where I live, so the weather outside was almost imitating your poem as I read it! I loved the repetition, and thought that it was really effective in emphasising the atmosphere of your poem. Nature and music are both amazing things, and I loved how you merged them into one. :)
~PaperHearts

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Now THIS, THIS deserves highest marks! The repetition here is not distracting but adds to the beauty of the piece! Excellent work. It is a little sad and melancholy but it does not detract from its beauty. 100% from me.

[Rory CJ Frankson]

***************************************************************************** All Stars ************
two words.. "Outstandingly Lovely"!
********************************************************************** To Breath Beauty ******

Ok.. 7 words & an exclamation mark, for excellence. lol Romon in Review 05/28/10. 7:12-am Quesnel BC CANADA Heart & Soul, Peace & Rain Drops.
For: Cattie Rain (Angela Angel)