Take Me Away

Take me away to a secret place
Let my hair blow in the breeze

As you whisk me to a safe abode

Where my fragile heart can survive

 

Take me away to a place unknown

Where everything’s all right

Where there is no pain, or hate, or trial

Where love only comes, never leaves

 

Take me away to a fruitful place

Where wounded hearts can mend

Let me grow into something beautiful

A change I could never make here

 

Because here there’s too much hate

There’s too much hurt and pain and strife

And every time I finally start to mend

I find I’m left in pieces again…

 

So take me away to a secret place

Where I can be safe from harm

A place where I can thrive and be

This place that isn’t real

Author's Note

Nothing special. First poem I've written in a while that didn't want to be rhymed though.

Reviews

[J.M. Barrett]

You know what is interesting?
When people spend their personal devotion time in God's presence, they call it the "secret place." A place where only your voice and the divine exist. A pace where you are drenched in His unconditional love and His overflowing presence. A place where, for that moment, the world and all it's cares are none existent. A touch, a taste of Heaven.

I just found it interesting, because a lot of the descriptions you used like "fruitful" "breeze" "only love" "no pain" etc is what people use to describe this intimate moment with God. Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something?

I thought this poem was very nice. :]

[Devons]

Although this is somewhat of a departure in terms of style, this poem is all the more powerful for being almost entirely prose. It foregoes rhyming and assonance in favour of the strength of the message - which i think works (without, that is, a rhyming version to compare it to).
And above all what i think makes this poem so strong (apart from the fact that it scans very well) is that the final line is so significant that it's simple statement seems to stamp itself back across the whole piece...

[Doreen]

Nice write. It would be so fabulous if such a place existed. I guess we have to find it in our hearts rather than on the map. ;)