Walk With Her

She trudged along the sidewalk
Dusty feet and broken smile
On her back a load of burdens
Stacked nigh twenty miles high

She's passed so many people
Who stare at her with such disdain
Some click their tongues in pity
Yet the leave her in the rain

She tries to hold her head up high
Stumbling down this old cracked road
She longs to see a friendly smile
But she's forced to walk alone

Exhausted now, she sits to rest
She lays her burden down
People rush to swarm around her
Full of anger they gather round

"Just who do you think you are?" they shout
"You get no time to rest!
The very last thing that you deserve
Is peace and happiness!"

With teary eyes and broken heart
She stands up to face her trial
Wishing someone out there cared enough
To simply walk with her awhile

Author's Note

I wrote this last night when I was half asleep. Literally. So take it easy :)

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. Remind me of a Army road march. If you fall behind. They push you with not so sweet and positive words. A hard and cold poem. We need to walk with a friend in a life. A very good poem.
Coyote

[Tina Kline]

This is very sad. The emotions come through of profound loneliness and the feelings that no one cares.

[Senseless whatever]

Great write. Full of emotion and an overbearing feeling of loneliness. Stop selling yourself short.

[SR Urie]

Wow, great imagery and remorse and despair. Somebody needs to take you out and make you smile, dance you around, feed you some wholesome food. Wish it could be me.

But don't stop writing your poetry, my friend. That would be sad indeed. BZ

[An owl on the moon]

This is a truly beautiful, tender expression... the desire for one to find compassion in a world so often filled with pain. You speak it forth wonderfully (even half asleep!)...

[*Always be Me:)*]

Its good...i wrote one at 3 in the morning when i couldnt sleep without my baby. :(

[R.S. Wilder]

You were high on sleep when you wrote this??? Girl, this is excellent!!!!

[Jenny Nelson]

Excellent write! I think there's a lot of people out there that fit this description if we just open our eyes and look around a bit. Great description of a picture and a feel.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Its sad to see a person have to devote so much strength to simply exist.
She's being robbed of her entire life. I cant help but wonder where she's going.
I hope she finds her oasis. Apathy is beginning to set it. It is such a powerful thing to witness a person become numb. You make the reader want to carry this load.

[J.M. Barrett]

This is sad!
Very good, but sad. :[

Hmmm some suggestions for a title?
- Down This Old Cracked Road
- A Walk With Her (It's almost as if by reading the poem I get to walk with the author for a bit.)

I really liked this verse:
She's passed so many people
Who stare at her with such disdain
Some click their tongues in pity
Yet the leave her in the rain

Especially "Some click their tongues in pity."
It's like you took imagery to the next level.
Or maybe I'm just weird, but it's almost as if I could hear the clicking of the tongues. Very nice though. :]